St Catherine of Siena Fr Alan Hilliard
I was speaking to a friend of mine a few weeks ago. She’s been having a difficult time. To put her son through college and to pay off debts she was working two jobs. Eventually she gave up one of the jobs as she had made financial headway. She is a musician too and she was invited to play at a funeral. She was quite nervous as she was so busy working that she was out of practise. Once she started playing, she realised how much she missed her music. When she explained this to me, I said, “if you don’t use your gifts, it can aid depression.” She got back to me and thanked me for my words.
Distractions
She thought long and hard about how much she loved her music and how she had neglected it. While she blamed a lot of her anxiety and listlessness on working two jobs, she realised that this was part of the problem but not the whole story. In neglecting her music, she was neglecting one of her greatest gifts that in normal circumstances bring her great joy and solace. She is back playing now and it’s helping her to feel alive.
The spiritual exercises of St Ignatius tell us that we must be where our gifts are being used or where they can be used. The spiritual journey is one where we must find how we use the gifts and talents that God gives us not because God wants us to under obedience but because it is there that we are happiest and in being happy we give glory to God.
Interestingly enough some of the greatest reforms in religious life were not about making things stricter – it was quite the opposite really. The reform of St Benedict came about because he realised, he was too hard on the monks in his charge, and he created a rule that allowed the whole person to flourish. In a similar vein St Teresa of Avila, when reforming the Carmelite’s, while insisting on deepening their spirituality, she also made sure that they had some down time too creating room of leisurely recreation – all work and no play makes whoever a dull person. St Catherine of Siena said, “Be who God wants you to be and you’ll set the world on fire.”
Talents
Use your talents and live happily. Here is a tip that’ll help you move in the right direction.
Firstly, identify the various areas of your life: There is the physical part of life – are we exercising enough, am I unnecessarily stiff and sore.
Then there is the mental part of my life – am I reading enough, doing crosswords, am I spending time on the phone or computer flicking rather than dwelling on good engaging material. Am I playing my music or am I dancing or using my head in a way that is upbuilding.
Then the emotional self: where do I love and where am I loved.
Then, of course there is the spiritual self, how do we connect with God? How much time do we spend allowing God to catch up with us. What helps me live a meaningful life? Who is Jesus for me?
Fruits
This exercise makes me see what bits of me are stuck in the rut – the part of us that we need to breath into to give it life. The feeling of being stuck in a rut doesn’t mean all of us are in a rut – that’s why this exercise is so good. Teresa of Avila also said, “Untilled ground, however rich, will bring forth thistles and thorns; so also, the mind of a person.” So, take time to examine the fields of our life and identify what ones need attention.