On April 2023 I was worried about my aunt. She was the most difficult thing about me being away. She was ninety-two, never married, was in a nursing home for nearly six years and I was minding her house as best I could. She had a beautiful nature, when I’d talk about Covid and how difficult it was she’d add, “and the war years were tough too.” The phrase that captured her though was one that is ingrained in my heart. No matter what the doctor would say about her demise and her move away from her independence she always say, “Thank God for so much!” I was the only person she asked for whenever she needed anything.
She was born in 1930 and was two years older than my mother. They were inseparable. For me heading to the United States was worrying. When I landed, I booked my first flight home with the primary purpose of visiting her. That flight coincided with her death. I sat with her for two nights and the end of the day of February 7 after the nursing saying she had a good few days left in her. This worried me as I was due to fly back the following Sunday.
Prayer
A few hours later, at 11:30pm I sat and prayed night prayer. I was working on my computer in her room. And my gut just decided to say night prayer. I sat with her told her I was saying night prayer and added that night prayer is commending us into the night in the hope of a new dawn. We rest with God that we can rise with him. I came to the end of night prayer and the words are “the Lord grant us a quiet night and a perfect end.” When I said those words, she gave her last breath. We had her funeral on the Friday, and I got on my flight the following Sunday back to the US. When I was back in class the next day, I told my students the story and whenever I am in touch with them, they always say it was one of the profoundest things they ever heard.
It is rare to hear to the voice of God and there are many visions that are drug induced but few that seem to be of God”
They picked up on the themes of hearing the voice of God and responding. The course they were doing was reflective one and they were looking at what they were called to be in life. Where they’d be happy and how they’d make the world a better place. Call and response. They and I learnt that we need to hear the voice of God and respond to His promptings – they are there for us. There is an interesting verse in the first book of Samuel: “The boy Samuel was ministering to the lord in the presence of Eli; it was rare for the Lord to speak in those days and visions were uncommon.” The same could be said of today. It is rare to hear to the voice of God and there are many visions that are drug induced but few that seem to be of God.
And yet God does work but do we hear that voice and see manifestations of Him enough or are there too many distractions? Samuel heard God’s voice as John, Andrew and Simon did. This was time too when the voice of Roman occupation was the one obscuring the voice of God, yet his Son was walking the roads with him. For Samuel the Philistines were beating the drum and the people suffered. In any time in any space there are always noises to drown out what is important to us and God’s voice suffers but He still speaks. One great disservice we’ve done is we have made the call of God a burden.
Vocation
The call of vocation comes with the price of seeming loneliness in a life or different struggles. We’ve translated the call of God into something we must bear like a cross. There are times in life where we have to bear crosses, and we ask for God’s help and support. This is true but not always the case. The call of God must be understood in its truest sense. A man who preached only a few yards from here in our neighbouring parish on St Stephen’s Green and who is now a saint. John Henry Newman said, “Growth is the only evidence of life.” Samuel, Andrew, John and Simon were called not to carry a burden but were at a stage in their lives where they were being called into a new and exciting space.
God is always calling us to a place that is more fulfilling and more life-giving. That no matter what happens we can say ‘Thank God for so much’”
I remember a man who used to smoke two hundred cigarettes and drink fifteen pints a day and then go home to his mammy for his dinner. One day he saw his life for what it was and like Samuel, Andrew, John and Simon Peter he realised his life was going nowhere and he moved from stagnation to life. In some ways my aunt’s call to enter the presence of God was the same. Her life had stagnated here. Her dementia was affecting her well-being, she was weakening and losing her dignity, and the call was to new life – fully alive in God.
Promptings
My part and my call were to pay attention to the promptings of God and respond and be there and help her on hear her final call. It was a lesson to me to pay attention to my deepest self and to hear what God wants for me. God is always calling us to a place that is more fulfilling and more life-giving. That no matter what happens we can say ‘Thank God for so much’.
I read a line this week from the great mystic and monk Thomas Merton that fits with these thoughts today: “You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognise the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.”
So, let’s think about it, let’s pray about it and lets do something about it.