Maria Byrne
A parent’s perspective
Driving through Dublin on St Patrick’s Day was a surreal experience. Normally, the city would have been thronged with people bedecked in green, white and gold; practically every town in Ireland would have had some version of a St Patrick’s Day parade and the pubs, restaurants and hotels would have been bursting at the seams with revellers.
What a different scene it was with the sun shining down on the deserted roads and pavements, the odd seagull hovering over the River Liffey, deprived of its yearly discarded crumbs and scraps. It was almost like a scene from some post-apocalyptic film if it wasn’t for the few lone joggers or optimistic children hopefully waving their Irish flags while out on family strolls.
We are in very strange times. We’re all accustomed to seeing famine, war and unrest beaming into our living rooms every day. When Covid-19 was ravaging China, it all seemed very distant as we watched from our armchairs not really comprehending what lay ahead. We felt sorry for those trapped on cruise ships that had changed overnight into floating infirmaries, but as the coronavirus tracked across Europe, we realised that it was only a matter of time. Almost everyone I encountered experienced a peculiar sense of the calm before the storm; my son said to me after his college closed down “It’s like waiting for a tsunami to hit”.
Many felt confused and ill-prepared. Everyone could identify with the words of Prof. Michael Baker of the University of Otago in New Zealand when he stated: “No one alive today has really been through a pandemic like this where we have to think about all these new approaches.”
In uncharted territory, how will we navigate through this in our families, communities, towns and villages? To echo a message I heard on St Patrick’s Day from a wise Dominican priest: “Be not afraid.” In the midst of all this upheaval, financial stress, sickness and threat of sickness or death, how we can act with courage and fortitude?
St Catherine of Siena said once: “It is not the hour to seek one’s self for one’s self, nor to flee pains in order to possess consolations; nay, it is the hour to lose one’s self.” What is more applicable to our present trials? Many of us are shell-shocked, worried and in fear for our future and we are seeking comfort but now is the time to trust in the love of God and to have faith that, even in the worst circumstances, we can rely on his loving care. Being people of faith, what can we do to help our families and others in real, practical and faith-filled ways? I asked some of my children, siblings, nieces and nephews and extended family for suggestions. My 9-year-old son suggested saying the Rosary every day for those who have the coronavirus. Start new prayer routines like tuning in to online Masses or prayers and reciting spiritual communions at a set time every day. Keep in touch with parish life. Priests may feel very lonely at this time so drop in a cake or a card to show them that they’re not forgotten.
One of my nephews thought it was particularly important to remember older people suggesting something as simple as offering to do a neighbour’s shopping. There are many national initiatives but we can never underestimate the importance of looking after those who are in our street and neighbourhood and our nearest and dearest. There have been calls to act together as a community, something that was the norm when I was a child. Sometimes, the worst circumstances demonstrate the strength of the human spirit and bring out the best in us. Doctors, nurses and hospital staff are working night and day but we see thousands of acts of charity and love every day. My daughter-in-law is a carer and created a St Patrick’s Day quiz for the residents in her care, playing songs and hymns to cheer them up. My daughter is eager to volunteer in a shelter for homeless women, something that worries me, but our Christian faith is about forgetting about oneself and going the extra mile. On our own it seems impossible, but with the grace of God, we can be the heroes that are now so badly needed.
Some in our immediate circle need more support. My close friend works in a busy Dublin hospital. She lives alone and can’t visit her mother in Kerry until all this ends. A relative of my husband also lives alone and has lost his job in a pub. A virus can damage the body, but isolation and loneliness can afflict the spirit. We are not meant to be alone so anything that can be done to help those who’ll feel cut off from society is beneficial. Overnight, many parents have become reluctant or overwhelmed home schoolers. Instead of trying to replicate school at home, they should be kind with themselves. The work that was sent home is more of a guide than a strict requirement and writing to a self-isolating grandparent, Facetiming a lonely aunt or uncle or baking biscuits for an exhausted health care worker will teach more about Christian values than a list of algebraic equations. Through all this, remember the words of St Teresa of Avila: “Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you; all things will pass away.” You are all in my prayers.