Courtney McGrailNobody is perfect so there’s no point pretending, writes Courtney McGrail
It’s easy to feel insecure in modern society with all the unrealistic expectations of beauty the media dishes out daily. Images of pouting, skinny celebrities and models do nothing for the curvaceous teenage girl while images of chiselled, muscular forms do nothing for the ego of men of a slighter frame.
It’s hard to be ‘beautiful’. It takes a lot of work, but ordinary people do not have the benefits of airbrushing. Most of us can’t afford to have personal trainers, dieticians, make-up artists and hairdressers.
The mass marketing of beauty and perfection would have you believe that if you do this exercise, eat this stuff and buy this product, you will be ‘flawless’ – an overused, silly word. One recent advertisement for a skin product even went as far as to claim that if you used their product, you would look ‘poreless’. Poreless? That’s ridiculous – imagine trying to hide or banish the very things that let your skin breathe!
Obsession
This obsession with beauty and the promotion of the endless products that it takes to achieve, is simply unhealthy. It leads to unhealthy eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia, and can cause depression and anxiety disorders. But there is another disorder that gets much less press, and it is just as important: body image dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder.
This disorder is where the sufferers (many of whom are teenagers) become obsessed with their flaws and this causes them to obsess about their appearance such as constantly staring into mirrors and grooming excessively.
What could be mistaken for vanity is actually behaviour driven by obsessive impulses to achieve a sense of perfection. Such obsession with apparent real or imagined ‘defects’ such as a part of their body like the stomach or a bump in the nose can lead sufferers to develop eating disorders and even dabble in plastic surgery.
In a recent article, Lucie Russell, the director of campaigns and media for the charity Young Minds, blamed the ‘online world’ for the increased, constant pressure young people feel under to portray a certain image – and this portrayal would demand the possession of the ‘perfect’ body and right number of friends.
Research by Brown University’s health services department points to a study of college females that found that 74.4% of normal-weight women said they thought about their weight or appearance “all the time” or “frequently”. The research also found that 46% of normal-weight men felt the same way.
I have experienced the pressure of ‘perfection’ and can understand the feeling of failure when perfection cannot be achieved – everyone has. We have looked in a mirror and wondered whether we were pretty enough, whether our hair was soft and shiny enough, whether our skin was ‘flawless’, whether our teeth were white and straight and whether we were thin enough or tall enough… the list is endless.
Superficial
In a society that prioritises superficial offerings of beauty over substance, it’s easy to feel worthless. But it is when this obsession with image gets out of control and begins to affect your everyday life that it is time to get help. Cognitive therapy and other treatments can be sought for anyone who feels that they might display some of the symptoms such as:
*camouflaging (with body position, clothing, makeup, hair, hats, etc);
*comparing body parts to others’ appearance;
*seeking surgerychecking in a mirror;
*avoiding mirrors;
*skin picking;
*excessive groomingexcessive exercise;
*and changing clothes excessively.
Everyone likes to look their best and there’s no harm in that – taking pride in your appearance is a good thing. However, it is good to remember that all that ‘perfection’ is nothing but a construct. Even natural beauty now is not natural beauty – magazines promote make-up that makes you look like you’re not wearing make-up. You spend ages putting on make-up to go out looking like you’re not wearing make-up.
Beauty
So what is beauty? Psychologists have tried for years to define it. Fashion designers, hairdressers, make-up artists and personal trainers have tried to create it. But if you have to create it, is it really beauty? Isn’t that just false? Isn’t less, more? Do we even know what perfection is? It takes all kinds to make a world – we are all made in God’s image and therefore beauty is unique, beauty is substance. Perfection is nothing but an ideal and, after all, it’s better to be flawed than to be fake.
* If you feel like you have symptoms of body image dysmorphia, a self-test can be found on https://sites.google.com/site/2920383/self-tests#TOC-Self-Tests. For more information on Body Dysmorphic Disorder or to find support, contact OCD Ireland on informationatocdireland@gmail.com. For more information on eating disorders or for support contact Bodywhys on 1890 200 444 or see www.bodywhys.ie