Maria ByrneSince early childhood, I always associated November and its darker days with the Holy Souls in Purgatory.
My parents put a lot of emphasis on praying for the dead with specific mention of loved ones who’d passed on to the next life. While they carefully explained the finer points of how to gain indulgences, I had imaginative images in my head of those who had died sitting in a bland waiting room waiting for their chance to move onto heavenly glory.
On cold, wet autumn evenings, there was often a bit of hesitation when my mother suggested visiting the graveyard to pray, but there was something comforting about the annual tradition.
The outward performance of particular actions and prayers, the mumbled Apostle’s Creed and prayers for the Pope’s intentions before heading back to the warm house is something I’ll never forget.
Our November tradition of visiting the cemetery was one of many family traditions that were scattered throughout the year. There were May devotions in the spring with Rosary and benediction every evening in the parish church.
The same devotions were repeated in October. I have such fond memories of sitting snuggled up with my five siblings, all wearing our hand-knitted pom-pom hats, and my mother’s clear tones singing Tantum Ergo and other traditional hymns.
Christmas was another great family time with my brother always ensuring that the crib had a massive wow factor. He always included me in his secret plans which involved several weeks of top secret creativity with paints, papier mâché and lots of glue.
No matter what month or season of the year, each was marked with some very tangible experience that really emphasised the fact that we were a Catholic family and part of a wider Christian community.
Friend
I was chatting to a friend recently and he was bemoaning the fact that a lot of the old Catholic customs don’t seem to be popular anymore. He mentioned the family Rosary, the wearing of the Brown Scapular, Eucharistic adoration and the display of holy water fonts and holy pictures in Catholic homes.
I was reassuring him that many families still haven’t abandoned these, but acknowledged that, in many modern homes, there’s probably very little that points to the fact that the family are Catholic.
We often hear about the ‘domestic Church’ which refers to the family, the smallest body of gathered believers in Jesus. Even from the time of the early Christians, the family home was viewed as the place where children learned to be good followers of Christ, a place of sanctification and holiness. To make this a reality in our day-to-day interactions with our children, we need more than words and abstract ideas. We have to establish in our homes some traditions that focus on our belief in God and remind us of his importance in our family life.
Children of all ages like customs and traditions that reinforce the connections within their family with an element that might link up with past generations. My grandmother always had a lovely shrine dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus which had a little red lamp lit at all times and was adorned with flowers.
Adults sometimes dismiss old fashions in religious displays as being a bit flamboyant, but children love activities that appeal to the senses. They’ll delight in planting bulbs in the autumn or winter that will grow into colourful blooms to adorn a May altar the following spring.
Smaller children will love the idea of marking various high points in the Church year with some arts and crafts activities like colouring in a cardboard cutout of St Patrick or a Nativity scene.
Most children like baking and so many recipes and cake decorations can be linked to Christian themes or feast days like hot cross buns on Good Friday and pancakes just before Lent.
Repeat the same recipes on special days every year and you’ve created family customs that, not only link into the Catholic calendar but also help build a family’s Christian identity and sense of family unity. Even toddlers love something as simple as being helped to light a candle after Mass and saying a little prayer.
My six-year-old likes counting out the beads during the Rosary and, in a busy schedule, I find that driving along in the car is the ideal time to say this traditional prayer.
Whatever traditions or customs we decide to adopt, the important thing is to keep them as simple as possible and to spread them out throughout the Church year. Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter are obvious times to focus on but there are also months like May for the Blessed Virgin and October for the Rosary.
Daily links
Don’t forget the daily links to faith and to have traditions around daily prayer, fortnightly or monthly Sacrament of Reconciliation and weekly Mass. Children need to see faith in action and all we do to promote Christian traditions and customs is really about teaching our children about their faith, stressing values and virtues over wealth and material gains and creating pathways of God’s grace which will light up our family life with the brightness of faith and love.
So, start with something easy to manage but start today. Without our input, children won’t have the experience of religious practice to pass on to their own children and grandchildren and that would be so regrettable.