Chai Brady
The shrine venerating St Valentine at Whitefriar Street Church in Dublin’s inner city. Photo: Chai Brady
The custodian priest of St Valentine’s relics in Ireland has warned that the Christian idea of marriage as sacramental and not just romantic emotions is being lost as the “world markets the idea that marriage can come and go”.
“The worry I have with St Valentine is that he gets mixed up with Cupid, this strange, almost candy floss spirituality of arrows shooting through the sky – that is not Christian marriage”.
“Marriage is all about sacrifice… It’s not just saying, ‘I want to spend my life with you’—it’s about getting to know you more each day and deepening the mystery of marriage” said Fr James Eivers O. Carm, the Prior of Whitefriar Street Church in Dublin which has housed the relics of St Valentine since 1836.
Speaking to The Irish Catholic Fr Eivers added: “It is not the priest who marries—the marriage is the sacrament between the two. Each day, what we see here in Whitefriar Street is the realisation that a married couple’s life is sacramentalised – they are the sacrament to each other. We turn to the saints, these powerful intercessors, to help us in our vocation.”
Fr Eivers said that married couples come to Whitefriar Street Church to renew their commitment to marriage, and many come to pray before the relic.
“We also have a book of intentions, and if you read through it, you will see that marriage is not plain sailing—it’s sacrifice, it’s work,” Fr Eivers said.
“People committed to their vocation realise that to make it work, they need God’s grace. Christian marriage does not make sense without God’s grace, so they write, through the intercession of St Valentine, ‘please help my marriage’.”
He said that “people also give thanks for prayers that have been heard – God does hear our prayers”.
“Love is an act of will. It is something you choose every day. In Christian marriage, you say, ‘I choose to love you even when it’s difficult, even when things are not perfect’. That is what makes it sacramental. Emotions come and go, but true love is deeper. It is about self-giving, about sacrifice, about living out your vocation in a way that reflects God’s love,” Fr Eivers added.
St Valentine, a 3rd Century priest, lived during Emperor Claudius II’s rule. The emperor forbade soldiers from marrying, believing single men made better warriors. St Valentine defied this law by secretly marrying couples. For this, he was arrested, tortured, and executed on February 14, 269 AD.