Courtney McGrailDear Editor, There is no doubt that had it not been for the marriage referendum, we would not have had so many public discussions about how Ireland treats gay people, or the nature of civil marriage. Whatever the result of the marriage referendum, it has been a healthy exercise for people who are gay, and their families, to discuss their lives. It has also been an opportunity for others to hear the stories of people whose lives might never have been heard.
Nobody is being forced to do, say or believe anything in this debate. Everyone’s vote will be equally valid and equally secret. And nobody – especially David Quinn who has been a vocal contributor to the debate – is being silenced, marginalised or ignored by a militant liberal lobby.
Dissent, rather than being banned, is being encouraged. Mr Quinn is, however, being challenged. His assertions about reports and studies are rightly being checked and his opinions are being held up to scrutiny. This is the benefit of taking part in a public referendum debate.
David Quinn is incorrect when he says that a militant social liberalism is forcing people to approve and celebrate the “lifestyle choices” of others (IC 09/04/2015). What the referendum is about is whether civil marriage is available to all consenting adults. It does not require anyone to attend a marriage, endorse it or celebrate it; merely that civil marriage is an option for those gay people who choose to avail of it.
I was brought up in the Church of England. I’m not a Catholic, but was a regular church-goer in my youth.
The lesson I always took from the prayers I was brought up with was a simple one: you should treat others as you would like them to treat you. And, you should love your neighbour.
I acknowledge that the dogma and theology of all religions runs deeper, but those two tenets of Christianity are a pretty good starting point. And in the marriage debate, the freedom which it has created for open discussions has revealed what was always obvious – gay people are our neighbours. Their children are the children of your neighbours. And, we aren’t being forced to approve of how they live their lives any more than we’re currently forced to approve of how any of our neighbours lead their lives.
Nowhere in the legislation to allow civil marriage does it require anyone to actively celebrate or endorse the lives of others, but basic decency suggests we treat everyone as we would wish to be treated.
And that includes our gay neighbours and their right to marry.
Yours etc.,
Peter Stafford,
Dublin