Bairbre Cahill
I have been doing some evenings with parents whose children are preparing for the Sacraments of Reconciliation, Eucharist and Confirmation. I was struck last night by one mum who talked about the importance of praying with her children. She spoke of the strength and security it gave her children. Cuddling up to pray with children at the end of the day creates a space for conversation about what has gone on during the day. It means that when children talk about rows that may have happened at school or things that have gone wrong during the day, there is an opportunity to gently encourage respect, forgiveness and compassion.
Faith is nurtured in these moments. We do not sit our children down with the announcement ‘I’m now going to teach you about faith’. It happens bit by bit in the course of our daily lives, particularly when we build in those moments of reflection, prayer and conversation.
These moments also give our children the strength and security of knowing that they are part of something bigger than just themselves. For us, prayer at night, whether together as a family or tucking the kids in to bed was usually something warm, loving and special. I say ‘usually’ because we also had times when it was more fraught and a question of getting through it and getting the kids to bed quickly! But I am convinced that it was an important part of building the foundations of the faith our children have today. Thanking God for the blessings of the day, asking God’s help with the challenges, praying for those people and situations we are concerned about all help us to know that God is part of our ordinary, everyday lives and we are never alone.
I read a message on Facebook this week on a parenting page, where a mum was asking if any other mums had tried using ‘a fairy worry board’ beside the bed to help an anxious child to sleep at night. It is the first time I had heard of this, but I presume the idea is that any anxieties are written on the board so that the child can let go of them and go to sleep. I have heard of something similar with ‘dream catchers’ – the idea, taken from native American people that a dream catcher placed beside the bed will take away any bad dreams and leave only good ones. It is clear to me that people are searching for something but leaves me wondering if they have thought of praying with their little ones before bed at night? An anxiety written on a fairy board will still be there in the morning. Putting our anxieties and concerns in God’s hands and asking for his help does not mean that our worries vanish but at least we feel we have God’s help in dealing with them. The gifts of the Holy Spirit – wisdom, courage, right judgment, understanding – can all help us here.
When I ask parents why they made the choice to have their child baptised one of the answers that comes up is ‘to protect our child’. I think faith nurtured in prayer and lived out in daily life really does give a sense of security and strength. I believe faith supports and protects our wellbeing – mental, emotional and spiritual. However, religion is not a magical thing and we need to be careful that we are not slipping into superstition thinking that baptising a child means nothing bad will happen to her, as if God owes us a guarantee. The reality is that life can throw us some serious challenges and as people of faith we are as likely as the next person to face those. Faith can support and strengthen us to deal with the challenges. Faith can assure us that we are not alone. In faith we believe that the darkest night ends with dawn.