Bairbre Cahill
I find myself wondering where Mary is and what her thoughts are in this time between Easter and Pentecost, between the resurrection of Jesus and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. The Gospels do not tell us about the encounter between Jesus and his mother – and we can scarcely begin to imagine it. Mary’s rebellious hope that cross and tomb could not be the end of her son is proved right. What liberating, overwhelming joy she must have known when she saw him on that Easter day.
And yet, it is not simply a return to how things used to be. Mary knows that what has happened in Jesus’ triumph over death is not just joy for her, or for his followers. It is not just to frustrate the Scribes and Pharisees. No, this is something much more. The resurrection of Jesus changes everything. It is a cosmic event which still impacts upon our world now 2,000 years later.
So, Mary, his mother, knows that her boy is not simply returned to her. She knows she cannot hold on to him. She cannot demand that he come home now. From the beginning, from that wholehearted “fiat – let it be” to the angel, Mary has handed over her life and her future.
Simeon, in the Temple not long after Jesus was born, had reminded her of just that: “And a sword will pierce your own soul too” (Luke 2:35). In welcoming the child within her womb Mary accepted that her life would no longer simply be her own.
Parent
Many of us know that becoming a parent is, more often than not, a painful learning curve. The sense of responsibility, vulnerability and love for our child can be overwhelming. A mother I spoke to today commented, “we never stop worrying about them do we” and she is so right. We should not wonder at that – even if we are exhausted by it sometimes. The relationship between a parent and child is one of the most powerful, life-shaping, energising and challenging forces.
We are created for relationship. We do not become ourselves through splendid isolation but through engagement with others and with the world around us. The challenge is to become the best, truest, most honest me I can be. When I see any of my own or their friends enter into a relationship I am always keen to see that they can be themselves, that they do not have to put on any sort of an act.
So, if my daughter is a strong, sassy young woman, no relationship with a young man should force her to be less than that. A good relationship should bring out and nurture the best in us. The psychologists call this ‘self-actualisation’ – becoming your true self. For us as Christians that is about becoming your true self, created in the image and likeness of God – and that happens through relationship.
So, I have problems with all this talk I hear in the media at the moment about personal autonomy. It seems to suggest that a person should be able to make the choice that works for them without reference to other people. In discussions about the upcoming referendum there is a mindset that sees the personal autonomy of the woman as more important than anything else.
So, the child in the womb is to be excluded from consideration. Some have suggested that men should not even be allowed to vote in the referendum because ultimately abortion is a woman’s choice. We do not make decisions in a bubble. The decisions and choices we make reverberate in the lives – or indeed in the deaths – of others.
The Annunciation is celebrated – normally – on March 25. The referendum happens on May 25. Where would we all be if Mary had decided that a pregnancy impinged too much on her personal autonomy?