Bairbre Cahill
Our eldest, Caoimhe, was working in Derry yesterday so I hopped in the car and headed over to catch up with her over a cup of coffee. We only had about 45 minutes together but it was good to see her and have a chat face to face. Realistically, Caoimhe probably won’t be home again until December so every opportunity matters.
At one stage I went through a bit of stress about not seeing enough of our girls now that they are away from home. I really struggled with the idea that I may only see them for a weekend once every three or four weeks at best. I do miss them but it doesn’t do me any good to focus on that.
In reality, although we only see each other every few weeks, we are in daily contact. The family WhatsApp group on our mobile phones buzzes regularly through the day with some update, funny story or daft question. Thanks to modern technology our lives are very interwoven. When we want a chat we can FaceTime or Skype if a regular call is not enough.
All of this supports our connectedness – but it didn’t create it. I am very aware of a sense that the six of us are ‘one body’. We are each individual and we are each members of this particular family.
Diarmuid has been talking about building models of molecules in chemistry class and the different strength of bonds within the molecule. I have an image of the six of us built into a Cahill family molecule with unbreakable bonds! Because of that connectedness I feel as if we are present to each other even when we are apart. That connection is something that sustains us and brings us a deep sense of being loved.
Loneliness
November has got me thinking about all of this. We are praying for those who have died. It is important to remember, to allow ourselves time to think, to grieve, to acknowledge loneliness and loss.
However – and I have said this before but it is worth repeating – we also need to remember that we are people of the Resurrection. We are not defined by death. If we are truly Christian then in November we are also invited to remember with joy the lives of those who have gone before us. We are invited to reject the idea that death has been the end of them. It is not always easy but our faith asks us to believe that we are one body in faith and nothing can break the connection between us – not even death.
Perhaps we need to be careful of the imagery that influences us. November, with its encroaching darkness is not the most uplifting of months. In November when we pray for those who have died what are the images in our minds? Do we think of our loved ones as struggling in Purgatory? What is our image of God? Is God the harsh judge? Or is God the one who gathers up those who are broken, who sends us his own Son in order to show us the over-whelming depth of his love for us?
Surely our God is the one who has defied death, broken its power through the resurrection of Jesus?
I believe it is important to remember and pray for those who have died. As people of the Resurrection we are invited to pray with confidence and hope. Our love for those we have lost is only a fraction of God’s love for them. I think we need to trust in God’s desire to enfold them in divine love.
This November I would suggest that we are invited to trust that our loved ones are with God, made new, delighting in God’s presence – and always close to us, a bond unbroken.