Bairbre CahillAny relationship that matters to us shapes who we are and the choices we make in life
I don't believe in perfect families. I do believe in families that love and laugh, get stressed out, leave the place a mess, kiss and make up. I also believe that God is right here at the heart of it all. My belief comes from my own experience of hectic and wonderful family life.
Over the coming months, I hope to explore the experience of God, faith and family life offering some thoughts and ideas that may help you to think about and celebrate all the ways that God is present and active in the middle of your own busy family life. If we are confident about God in our lives, we find it easier to talk about faith and we can pass that confidence on to our children.
Sometimes when we think about ‘having faith’ we think in terms of knowing right from wrong, making good choices in life. That is certainly part of it but it's more like the fruit of faith – it's what happens in our lives if our faith is active. Faith is a relationship with God. The dictionary describes faith as “complete trust and confidence in someone or something”. So it's not just about a set of beliefs, it is about trust and confidence and how that shapes our lives.
Choices
Any relationship that matters to us shapes who we are and the choices we make in life. Think about a time when you fell in love; what impact did that have on your life? Think about when you became a parent and began a new relationship with your own child; how did that change you, your choices in life and your priorities?
We nurture an important relation-ship by spending time together, communicating, expressing our love and affection, delighting in the love we share. Faith as a relationship with God asks the same of us. That is why prayer is so important – talking to God from our hearts, being silent, becoming aware of God's presence and action in our lives, reflecting on God's Word in scripture.
Relationships shape us and so, too, faith shapes the way we live our lives, the choices we make. So faith is not like a good coat that we put on for going to Mass and take off again. Our relationship with God spills over into all the rest of our lives and shapes who we are at home, at work, at school, in the parish and the wider community. It is worth taking some time to look at our lives and think about how faith shapes – or could shape – our relationships and choices.
How about creating a sacred space at home to remind ourselves that God is always part of our lives as a family? It could be a shelf or a table or even a windowsill with a Bible and a candle (only light it when you are praying!).
This month, you could think about what the symbols of faith are in your family. You might think of a cross, a holy water font or a statue to add to your sacred space. What about the other symbols too, the ones we may not immediately associate with words like ‘holy’ or ‘faith’ – like a knife and fork for all the meals you share, a teddy or cuddly toy to symbolise all the love and cuddles in your family, a photo of the family, a plaster to symbolise the hurts that may need healing and forgiveness within your family?
Sacred space
You will be able to think of lots more. Gather them up and put them in your sacred space as a celebration of faith in your family. Even just having the conversation about what symbols you would pick gets everyone talking about faith.
Talking about faith is important. The more we share our faith, the more it grows. One way of praying together as a family is simply to ask each person – maybe after dinner or before bed – “what has been good today and what has been tough?” Together, we grow in awareness of the blessings and challenges in life. We can pray in thanks for the blessings and ask God's support for the challenges.
It is also important to remember that to talk about faith we don't need to have all the answers. Doubt is actually an important part of faith. Pope Francis has made it clear that if we have no doubt, then we are not leaving any space for the Holy Spirit to draw us deeper and help us to grow in faith. Faith is a journey for the whole of life.
There is always more to know and experience about who God is. This is a journey that we can walk with our children, learning from each other.
Bairbre Cahill’s blog – http://godfaithandfamilylife.wordpress.com/