Wendy Grace
My husband and I are really starting to feel the stress of the coronavirus restrictions. We are both trying our best to juggle work, the children and managing the home, but the tension is starting to affect our relationship.
I would imagine many couples across the country would echo the struggles you are having. Being in each other’s pockets 24/7, at the best of times would be difficult, but couples across the country have the added stress of trying to work, home school and manage the household. You have both taken on lots of new changes and responsibilities to daily life. The first thing you need to do is grieve the change that has happened, then accept this is the new reality and alter your mind set to embrace all that is good and positive about it. You need to sit down and figure out what routine will work best for all the family, what way can you structure your day so you can get your work done, help the children and get time for yourself. Work out a detailed timetable of each other’s roles and responsibilities and put them in a shared calendar – and make sure to include social virtual ‘facetime’ with family and friends and, most importantly, an in-house ‘date night’.
It is really important that you are each getting your own headspace every day, be it a walk, run or cycle close to home. This is actually an opportunity for your marriage to strengthen and grow. Talk properly about your fears, struggles and anxieties and work together to come up with a plan of action.
Being away from your spiritual routine is having an impact too; try to connect with the many great resources that are live streaming. For example, the Holy Family Mission broadcasts a beautiful Holy Hour each evening from 7.30-8.30pm with reflections and wonderful singing. Practice prayers of gratitude each day thanking God for each other and the blessings that you have.
Remember you are a team, uniting together at this time is what your family needs. Many feel that this is an opportunity for us to slow down, to reflect, to dance, to read, to laugh, to just be. Talk together about some of the ways you could use this time both separately and together. There is no going out so what is your new ‘staying in’? There are oodles of generous businesses offering free online resources from audio books, learning a language to exercise routines. Try to fill some of your time with something new. Pick one new activity you can do together as a family, one with just your spouse and one just for you.
For now the best thing to do is to embrace this new routine and a new reality. It is one in years to come that we will look back on and say, it was worth it, it saved lives. Your children will probably remember it as the time that mom and dad slowed down, when you danced, and played and laughed and you had more of one of God’s most precious gifts – time.