I once was lost, but now I am found

I grew up in a Catholic family in Sligo, but it wasn’t a faith-filled environment. We went to Mass only for special occasions like funerals, baptisms, and confirmations. I received my sacraments, but they didn’t feel connected to God. It was more like a formality, and the deeper aspects of the faith – who God is, who Jesus is – were never discussed. I went to a multidenominational primary school, so I had exposure to different religious beliefs and practices, but nothing really clicked for me at that time. My first real encounter with faith came when I was around 13. I found only the story of a pope who had a vision of someone still burning in Hell, even after a thousand years. It terrified me, so I thought I should pray, but I didn’t know much else. The only prayer I knew was the Hail Mary, so I would pray that every night before bed – though, even then, I felt no real connection to God.

By the time I was 15 or 16, I was in trouble with the law. I wasn’t going to school, had been arrested a few times, and was hanging around with the wrong crowd. But then, one day, me and three other boys met a Pentecostal preacher on the street. There was something different about him. One of the boys I was with had a cough, and this preacher prayed for him. The cough instantly went away. We were all stunned. I remember thinking that maybe there was something to this whole ‘God thing.’

Preacher

I remember, a few months later, meeting that preacher again with a group of friends. He asked us, “Do you know who Jesus is?” We answered the usual, “The Son of God,” but it felt different this time. He laid his hands on us, and we all felt something – something real. It was the Holy Spirit. We were all completely changed that night. The next day, we went to his house, got New Testaments, and started reading them. We’d meet up the next day and discuss what we’d read, amazed by the wisdom and depth of what was in those pages. I was on fire for Jesus. I remember even blessing myself if I cursed and praying to ask God for forgiveness right there in the street.

I still prayed, but something was missing. I realised I needed a church, but there was none around that I felt connected to”

At school, I was a completely different person. I used to be a bully, but after that night, I stood up for people who were being picked on. One day, a classmate asked me what I was so happy about, and I told him, “I found Jesus.” I started praying morning and night, reading the Bible every day. I’d been transformed by the encounter with the Holy Spirit, and for a while, it felt like nothing could shake that fire. But soon, my friends started falling away. One stopped reading after a few days, another after two weeks. My best friend Andrew stuck with it a little longer, but even he eventually fell away. I kept going, but after finishing the New Testament, I stopped reading. I still prayed, but something was missing. I realised I needed a church, but there was none around that I felt connected to. I asked God for one, and the next day, I met two Mormon missionaries. I thought that was an answer from God.

Mormons

I ended up getting really involved with the Mormons. They seemed so committed and on fire for God. They loved Jesus, and I was drawn to that. I went to England with them. My parents didn’t like it, but I felt like it was the right thing to do. After a while I started to notice that some of their teachings just didn’t match up with the Scriptures, and that led me to seriously question whether the Mormon church was the true Church. Eventually, I left. Sadly, that marked a period where I fell back into my old ways. I stopped reading the Bible, stopped praying, and started drinking again. But even during that time, I still believed that Jesus was Lord.

When I joined the army, I wasn’t living out my faith at all. I was just caught up in the distractions of life. But then something happened while I was in Syria. It was an event that shook me, and when I came back, I knew I had to get my life back in order. I started watching debates between atheists and Christians. I began to think about my faith in a way I hadn’t before. Around the summer of 2020, I joined a Protestant church for a short amount of time. That September I went to college to study Teaching, History and Religion

I realised that the Catholic Church seemed to align more closely with the early Church than anything else I’d encountered. All I wanted was to be like the first Christians”

During my first year of college, I took a module on the History of Christianity. I assumed that the Catholic Church had only been founded at the Council of Constantinople, but as I read more about the early Church, I was struck by how different the Church in the first centuries looked compared to what I had been taught. I came across the Didache, a first-century Christian document, and it was eye-opening. It described early Christian practices like saying the Our Father three times a day and fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays – things that Catholics still do today. I realised that the Catholic Church seemed to align more closely with the early Church than anything else I’d encountered. All I wanted was to be like the first Christians. This began to change my view on Catholicism.

It wasn’t long before I found myself back in a Catholic church, this time in Ballymun, Dublin. When I walked in, I could feel the Holy Spirit in a way I hadn’t felt in years. The Mass was beautiful, and I felt like I had come home. I remember hearing the hymn Amazing Grace. ‘I once was lost, but now I was found’. It felt like the culmination of a ten-year journey of seeking and searching. I knew, in that moment, that the Catholic Church was the place where I belonged. I had been through so much, but I finally felt like I had found the true Church.

Alive

I’ve met so many amazing Catholics – people who are genuinely alive in their faith, who love Jesus and who live out their beliefs. I never expected that. I had always assumed that Catholics didn’t take their faith seriously. Finding a church where you feel at home is difficult but I found one with St Saviours, in Dublin. I remember going in for Confession. I stayed for Mass, then I saw the altar rails, I saw young people and I remember the homily was great. I knew this was going to be the place where I could grow in faith and grow in virtue.

I am convinced that this journey, this faith, is all God’s grace. He moves first, as we see in Mark 3, when Jesus chooses the twelve apostles. He chooses us. All I’ve done is say “yes” to His call. Everything else is God’s work.