“I remember when you used to visit the school, and we had such good times and fun there, but I never thought that the future would ever be like this.” I knew what he meant.
His mother had just died following an accident – a young woman, with so much left to live and to give. A short number of years ago, his older brother was killed in a road accident and his mother’s grief was intense and known to all who knew her.
The hope remained that time would be the healer, but time outran his mother and she never fully got to that place of peace that all wished for her. I felt the intensity of his pain and tears trickled down my cheeks too. My heart went out to him, his sister and father as, once again, they faced into those awful days of a family funeral and prepared to say goodbye to the heart of their home.
Classroom
How could any of us have known, when we laughed in the classroom, stood together in the sacristy as he, his brother and sister, served Mass, that it would end like this? How could we have known as his mother took her place in the local choir, found her voice in song and her Faith in prayer, as his father proclaimed the Word of God at Mass, that it would end like this? The future…it is a mystery and beyond our grasp. We can only walk towards it, in the hope that it will be kind to us.
She seldom missed daily Mass. She had a choice of two but opted for the earlier one and went for a long walk afterwards. I’ve no doubt those walks helped her clear her head for the day but never reached the depths of her pain and loss. That said, she lived life and was surrounded by those who loved her. Though the loss of her son was a constant heartbreak, the presence of her other son and daughter, the love of her husband and the support of her family and friends, sustained her.
It’s not the time to answer these questions when people are immersed in grief…”
She rejoiced in people’s happiness, shared her children’s success in studies and sport and supported her husband in his work.
What if we had known the future? What chance would there have been for laughter in the classroom, shared faith in the church, music from the choir, love in the home – for living? It is best we don’t know what life might bring, otherwise we would run the risk of stopping life’s greatest gifts – hope and dreams.
Of course, there are questions around days like these. Not new questions by any stretch of the imagination: “Why does God let things like this happen?” and sometimes people add “to good people?”
It’s not the time to answer these questions when people are immersed in grief, sadness and yes, perhaps, justifiable anger. An answer is deserved though, and it’s not easily found but, the only way I can try to answer it, lies in my belief that God does not cause people to suffer. He takes no delight in obituary notices, black ties and tear-stained faces.
Accidents, sickness and even death are moments in life that could be avoided but, for some reason, aren’t and God’s promise is that he is with people and with them always – even in these awful moments. He is there for those who suffer and, gathers their suffering and brokenness into his ever-loving arms so that they first, may know peace again. Then he will focus on those left behind and send angels of kindness, words of consolation and signs of hope so that, with the boy in the classroom, they may find peace in their present and face the future, not fully knowing what it will bring.
A thought this week for all who grieve and a prayer for all of us that we may face the future with hope, faith and love. A prayer too, for those gone before us – may the best of their past be the joy of their future.
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TAKERS AND GIVERS: A tweet that lingered with me and is now shared with you: “The world is made up of givers and takers. The takers may have more but the givers sleep better.” I liked it! I actually replied saying I liked it rather than just click the icon!
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IT MIGHT WELL BE YOU: In the coming weeks parishes will look towards forming new Boards of Management for schools and possibly new membership for Parish Pastoral Councils. Maybe someone will approach you or your peers may nominate you. Don’t say ‘no’ too easily. Think about what your ‘yes’ could mean.