Mags GarganMags Gargan talks to the parent of a child with ADHD about how it affects family life
There is a stigma surrounding attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or attention deficit disorder (ADHD/ADD), which makes an already difficult situation for parents incredibly harder. People continue to view ADHD as a personality trait. Children are seen as troublemakers or spoiled brats, and their behaviour is attributed to poor parenting and a lack of discipline. However, children with ADHD are not disobedient on purpose; they have a biologically based disorder that disrupts self-regulation.
ADHD is a neurobiological condition in which the brain’s neurotransmitter chemicals do not work properly. It is a genetic and long-term condition which affects learning and behaviour right through the school years and in many cases beyond into adulthood.
ADHD is more frequent in boys than in girls. It is characterised by symptoms of inattention and/or impulsivity and hyperactivity, and it can also co-exist with other disorders such as dyslexia, autism and learning disorders.
Symptoms
These symptoms can create problems in children’s home life. They find it hard to persist with tasks and can suffer from mood swings, which can cause immense stress to their parents and siblings.
Mary Smith’s teenage son has ADHD and she says it can make family life very difficult. “My son can have good days, but the next can be so difficult. He can be so hurtful at times, and then I know he is ashamed of his behaviour. To minimise the oppositional behaviour and manage any aggressions, I try my best to practise positive parenting, but that’s not easy. I so often feel that I have no control over the situation.
“My other children often resent the fact that they have a brother with ADHD but they love him dearly. When they were all younger, he was very demanding, and was very unkind to them on occasions but their relationships have improved now. I know that they felt that they didn’t receive enough attention growing up, and I suppose I would have to admit to being consumed by all the issues that confronted me around the ADHD, but I do the best I can.”
It is important to note that ADHD is a very treatable condition. If diagnosed and properly treated, people with ADHD can reach their potential and lead happy and successful lives.
Mary says it took a few years for her to realise that her son had ADHD, and she wishes that it was diagnosed sooner. “Starting school, my son was a bright, articulate, run of the mill five-year-old but, a few months in, I had a call from his teacher asking to see me,” Mary explains.
“She expressed some concerns about his concentration and difficulties with following simple tasks. When I look back at it now, I see how my reaction probably wasn’t helpful. I was shocked to hear what she was saying and really couldn’t grasp the idea at all, but we did our best.
“We worked with the teacher and with the aid of star charts and all the many behaviour management techniques, we got him through his first couple of years at school. I’ll be honest, I always had a long list of reasons as to why his behaviour was amiss – the particular teacher, our work routines, his friends, and I was always searching for an answer!”
Struggling
The family spent the next few years struggling with schooling issues, teachers, behaviour problems and homework. “Every day was difficult and there was no let up. He was with a nice group of kids, had plenty of friends, so we were always at a loss to know why things were so difficult for him. Eventually, we decided to try a new school. My son was delighted with this fresh start and he had great expectations, but he was only a week or two in when the old problems started again, and a phone call came from the school’s guidance counsellor suggesting we look into the possibility of ADHD.
“I began looking into the condition, and it suddenly all become very clear. Everything I was reading was relevant to my son. Whilst it wasn’t easy coming to terms with the fact that he may have ADHD, there was some relief in the fact that I now could get him some help. It took a lot of work to get as far as the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, but once he was assessed by the multi-disciplinary team, he was indeed diagnosed with ADHD, and our journey started there in learning to live with the condition.”
Early diagnosis of ADHD is very important. The first step is to contact your GP to discuss your concerns and your doctor will usually refer you to a child psychiatrist, psychologist or paediatrician for assessment.
There is no blood or other biological test to determine its presence, but there are strict diagnostic criteria for ADHD which separates it from other conditions.
The good news is that ADHD is extremely treatable, and with the right kinds of education, intervention and supports, individuals can go on to reach their potential.
Medication is not automatically prescribed to everyone but it is common and might be combined with other treatments such as forms of behaviour therapy.
“The dilemma I faced is whether to go down the route of medicating,” Mary says. “I read a lot of literature on the various medications available. The current thinking is that medication should only be part of a treatment regime, if it is used alongside other behaviour management techniques.
“My son now takes medication for the condition and I think it helps his brain work in a more efficient manner. He has had some counselling, as have I.
“The psychologists have wonderful experience in dealing with children with ADHD and offer wonderful support to the parents too. I try to manage a good routine at home which helps my son, as any disorganisation or chaos around him exacerbates his issues. I try my best to keep the school involved in any way I can, I think a positive relationship with teachers is very important, and it does help as school can be particularly fraught for all involved.”
ADHD Awareness Day
Overcoming the stigma and misconceptions around ADHD is the aim of the ADHD Awareness Day on October 13 organised by HADD Ireland.
HADD is a voluntary group formed by parents of children with ADHD, individuals with ADHD and professionals, to provide up-to-date information, resources and networking opportunities.
"Our main objective to look after and support families with help, advice and guidance," says Stephanie Maloney from HADD. "If people ring us wondering where to go to find out more about ADHD or ADD, we can give them guidelines, recommend who to go to and send out information." As well as operating an advice phone service, the group produces publications, organises information sessions, runs courses for young people and parents and works to raise awareness of the condition and contribute to research.
"The negativity around ADHD is enormous and rubs off on the person themselves," Stephanie says. "We try to help them realise they are not the only person with it."
HADD is running an ADHD awareness event on October 13 with Prof. Thomas E. Brown from Yale University giving a talk in St John of God Hospital, Stillorgan Road, Dublin. The theme of the talk is ‘ADHD is real, promoting positive attitudes and building resilience in people with ADHD’ and it starts at 7.30pm. Contact HADD office to register your name to attend as spaces are limited, email info@hadd.ie or phone 01 8748349.