Maria ByrneThe summer stretches out like a golden path of possibilities
My daughter will be 16 years old in a few weeks’ time. She’s at that age where she’s still a child in the eyes of the law, but it’s also the stage where she feels she can take on the world.
One minute she’s wiping tears from her eyes at the end of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, the next she’s telling me her plans to travel the world, get a summer job and how there’s really no need for me to be getting emotional because she’s practically all grown up. It’s a bit like being on a rollercoaster.
When I was in my early teens, I went to the odd disco, was dropped there and collected afterwards by one sleepy-eyed parent or another.
Most families seemed to be watching the money, so the resources were pretty limited for those who longed to stretch their wings.
The first time I was on a plane was at the age of 19. I was so excited and when I finally arrived on the beautiful island of Corfu, I was in a dream-like state at the novelty of it all. Many children today have been travelling since they were babies. They’re the generation who seem to have it all.
Benefits
Even families who are struggling will put themselves in debt to make sure their children have the benefits they didn’t have.
The summer stretches out invitingly, filled with promise. What child doesn’t relish throwing their school-bag into some corner on the first day of the summer holidays?
The one thing I really miss about school is that delicious feeling when the bell rings to signal the last class of the term; freedom never felt so good.
For many parents, summer can be a stressful time with worries about what the children are going to do, how to juggle work and holidays and the added financial burdens involved in fulfilling children’s expectations. Yet again, there’s the pressure on parents to do it all.
For parents who work full time in the home, there’s the expectation that your summer season’s chief challenge is to ensure that not one of your children is even a tiny bit bored. I don’t remember my mother consulting a list of ‘500 must-dos for the holidays’ when I was a child. However, as parents, we can look on holidays as a good deal more than just an event management opportunity. Ideally, it can be a fantastic time for our children’s growth and development.
During the recent redefinition of marriage campaign, I spoke to some mothers and fathers who felt aggrieved that there seemed to be a disconnect between their beliefs and values and those of some of their children. There was even a sense of disbelief that something they cherished was not equally regarded by their children.
Youth culture has evolved and it’s a shock to find that it’s school or college pals or another peer group that’s the major influence in your child’s life. It doesn’t have to be like this and holiday time is the ideal time to focus on family bonding.
Get to know your children again. Term time is so busy – children, especially as they reach the teenage years, are changing rapidly. With a job, school, a busy house to run and all the ongoing distractions, you can start to lose touch with what’s the most important. I think finding time to have decent conversations is a priority. If you never talk to your teenager about what you feel, what you believe in and why, they’ll never share your vision and hopes for a better society.
My daughter wants to see the world, but maybe this summer, I can be a part of her adventures. She’s never been in London and constantly talks about wanting to go there. I have a few euro in the Credit Union; maybe it’s time to spend it.
When our children are babies, we build bonds with them. All the baby books mention how important this is.
We read them stories, sing them songs and are generous with our kisses and cuddles. Why shouldn’t we continue this as our children grow older?
Instead of reading story books and singing nursery rhymes, we can share our preferences in music or go and see a play or other performance. We worry about our children rejecting the Faith we tried to pass onto them, but do we create opportunities to answer their questions or provide books and films geared to their age to inspire them?
Instead of a summer concert or disco, we could also look into faith-based activities that are fun. A great example is the Youth 2000 Summer Festival in Roscrea which combines faith and fun for anyone from 16 years and up.
Family connection
Even something as simple as visiting a holy well or a shrine to Our Lady on a warm summer evening can create that sense of a shared faith and shared family connection.
Maybe we suspect that children have a bit too much when it comes to smart phones and tablets and computers, but what they lack can be that physical time spent with their family.
The summer stretches out like a golden path of possibilities. Don’t waste it worrying about stuffing endless activities into a few short weeks.
Take some time out to just do little things, to slow the pace and to really value the extra hours with your children and family that are usually so elusive.