Breda O'Brien
‘People have a natural disposition towards optimism or pessimism, but it can be changed’ writes Breda O’Brien
We are what we habitually do. Aristotle said that, and his insight is absolutely accurate. As a New Year dawns, and so many of us look at how we can change, Aristotle’s maxim carries both threat and promise.
A New Year is a human construct, of course, although a valuable one. We arbitrarily pick a day, and name it as the New Year. And of course, we have lots of them.
For students and teachers, the new year is late August. For each of us, a new year begins on our birthday. For Catholics, the new Church year is a month old.
The reason we pick a day to begin again is because we need a sense of possibility and growth. And yet change is very difficult for most of us. For example, gyms are able to enrol more members than they have equipment or space for, gambling that only a fraction of those who take out a membership will continue to use it for any length of time.
Diets fall prey to the same phenomenon. As someone once said, habits seem like a spider web until you try to change one – and then we realise that they are as strong and heavy as steel hawsers.
Within the Church in Ireland, we have fallen into habits of worry and negativity. It is particularly noticeable among some of our ageing clergy and parishioners. Either they have grown cynical and angry, or they have the attitude that the Church will last long enough to ‘see them out’. And the implication is that the next generation can shift for itself.
Recipe
It is hardly a recipe for growth and renewal. Pope Francis got into trouble when he described Europe as carrying “a general impression of weariness and aging, of a Europe which is now a ‘grandmother’, no longer fertile and vibrant”.
It was claimed that the image was misogynistic. Whatever about the political correctness of the image, it can be applied to the Irish Church just as much as to Europe.
Certainly, there are many Church organisations which involve young people, notably Youth 2000, but the profile of parishioners is ageing, as is the profile of priests.
Again, looking at our Church, growing grey can lead to habits of complaint and pessimism. Every so often, I ask myself how my behaviour – or more precisely – my level of hope is any different than that of a person who does not believe in God.
Despite being admonished on a regular basis by the Gospel not to worry, I find myself an expert at worrying, both for myself and others.
And yet, the Gospels proclaim over and over that we are not to worry, but to place our trust in God.
Habits begin with our individual actions, and ripple outwards to the community. People have a natural disposition towards optimism or pessimism, but it can be changed.
Most of the work on this comes from positive psychology. Interestingly, Martin Seligman, a key researcher in this area, is by nature a pessimist. Interestingly, too, according to his research, pessimists generally have a better grasp on the reality of situations.
People who habitually look on the bright side often ignore warning signs of trouble ahead. There are professions where being a pessimist – that is, looking at everything possible that can go wrong – is a definite advantage. Lawyers, and those who design and test airbags, should never be bright-eyed optimists.
However, in many other cases, being optimistic can enhance your life, and enrich it. Seligman has taught himself to be more optimistic, because of its effect on longevity and happiness.
The examples I have given come from secular psychology, which will never quite fit with the Christian vision. Our reasons for optimism are rather different. Nor does being a Christian guarantee an easy life.
Bookmark
Some years ago, I came across a beautiful prayer on a little bookmark in Kylemore Abbey. It reads like this:
“Lord, help me to live this day, quietly, easily, to lean upon your great strength, trustfully, respectfully, to await the unfolding of your will, patiently, serenely, to meet others, peacefully, joyously, to face tomorrow, confidently, courageously.”
No doubt the year ahead will be full of challenges for Christians who want to live out their faith as part of contributing to the common good, not merely as a private hobby.
The referendum of gay marriage will test our courage and our compassion.
However, for this year I will be trying to live out the spirit of the prayer I found in Kylemore Abby. Unless we can show that we are at peace, I doubt if we can influence others. I can only hope that my attempts to develop a profound willingness to live peacefully will last longer than the average gym member’s attempts to get fit!