Maria ByrneWe have endless opportunities to be a role models
I love the pomp and ceremony that surrounds the graduation of students in the US and the tradition of delivering inspiring commencement speeches. The final words to the students, as they depart for the next step on life’s journey, are often spoken by politicians, important citizens or those who have stood out for their particular achievements. It’s hoped that by listening to others who have blazed a trail or contributed in some outstanding way, students will be encouraged and enthused to follow in their footsteps.
Some commencement speeches stand out for their ability to entertain and amaze. However, the best addresses are those which are personal, positive and that appeal to each student’s desire to make his or her own unique mark in the world.
It’s quite a responsibility to attempt to strike a chord with the young adults who wait, poised for what lies ahead. The best messages are those that offer hope, guidance and motivation, challenging the young graduates as they transition to adult life in the best way possible.
What a great honour to be given such an opportunity. It’s amazing how a few optimistic and idealistic words can be absorbed and remembered for years to come and might even change one or two lives for the better.
The key speaker at a graduation ceremony has one chance to say something memorable and profound. Looking out at the eager, expectant faces, they hope they’ll have something to offer to the community leaders, the fathers, the mothers, the professionals and workers of the future.
It’s highly unlikely that most of us, who are struggling to raise good, responsible children, will ever be invited to share our words of acquired wisdom to an audience of young people.
Our role is even more important. Instead of one brief opportunity to be a model of excellence and a dispenser of sound judgement, we have endless opportunities to be a role model, a mentor and the most important influence in our children’s lives. In truth, by the time they have finished secondary school and are heading off to college or the work world, the positive part we played in their lives is already shaping how they live.
Correct path
The saying “Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man” is often bandied about to emphasise the importance of a child’s formative years. Hopefully, we have a bit longer than seven years to set our children on the correct path and to be a major influence in the adults they’ll become.
It’s helpful to foster the traits in our children that we admire and value in the role models that influenced our own lives. What are the values and virtues that we want to foster, the same values that will stand by our young people and help them to blossom into women and men of substance?
As Catholics, the centre of our child-rearing efforts will be centred on the Christian values we subscribe to. Developing a prayer life, understanding the importance of good character and having a personal relationship with a loving God aren’t things that will happen once a child becomes a mature adult.
I’ve often wondered about the view that it’s better not to introduce any religious beliefs to a child. Some believe that a young adult can explore religion and embrace a particular set of beliefs in his or her own good time. Unfortunately, our loves and passions are often well developed, even before our teenage years.
If our children, at the age of 16 or 17, are strangers to Gospel values, it’ll be much harder to promote a particular world view that’s often totally at odds with the world they’re immersed in.
A kindly priest once introduced me to the idea of having a plan of life. It’s a simple concept which involves jotting down some key aims for each day with the goal of being a better Christian. It might begin with a morning offering, some Gospel reading, a time set aside for prayer and, depending on the individual, a daily rosary or an effort to attend a week-day Mass.
A parent can help a young person to broaden this life plan to include goals that are character building.
Getting involved in youth ministry, developing peer-to-peer discipleship, even being a guide or helper for a younger sibling will all prepare a teenager or young adult for future positions of responsibility.
Tolerance
A good work ethic can be developed, even in a toddler who learns to put his toys away, or mirrors his mother or father in his childish attempts to wash the car or dry the dishes. Attitudes to kindness, social justice, tolerance and honesty are all strongly influenced by the home environment.
When our children finally leave school or college, we hope they hear inspiring words. Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Inc. gave the commencement speech in Stanford in 2005. He spoke eloquently, advising graduates not to let others’ opinions drown out their own inner voice and to have the courage to follow their heart and intuition.
Hopefully, as parents, we’ll have been giving our own version of a motivational commencement speech, repeated many times over so, when our child is ready to launch, following their heart will mean following all that is good and just and true, all that we have strived to pass on to them from their very early years.