Practising Gratitude

Being thankful has positive impacts on your mental and physical health, and your relationships, writes Wendy Grace

Perhaps many of us woke up this morning feeling thankful, but many of us probably started our day rushing around and feeling stressed. What if you could start your day a different way with a habit that will set the tone for the day and have positive impacts on your mental and physical health and on your relationships?

We all have so many things to be grateful for, even in the midst of stress and, sometimes, suffering. Deciding to be thankful for the blessings in our life is intrinsic to our faith. Giving thanks to God for all he gives us and all that is around us should be intertwined into our day.

Sometimes we tend to focus on big moments in life that are cause for feeling, momentarily, grateful for, such as a big promotion at work or passing an exam.

Unfortunately, we quickly move on from this appreciation. Whereas the day-to-day things such as health and family can often be neglected because life gets in the way. Most of us wait to feel grateful, rather than placing gratitude into our daily routines. I read countless studies for this article detailing scientific research, which shows people who do this, have stronger immune systems, better mental health, and exercise more frequently, and report having fewer illnesses. Their relationships are also better as is their emotional health.

Need some more reasons? It has also been linked to strengthening faith, increasing self-esteem and reducing selfishness. In simple terms, being grateful for what you have makes you happier. The evidence is so strong that the Greater Good Science Centre at the University of California, Berkeley – in collaboration with the University of California, Davis – launched the multiyear project ‘Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude’.

Better habits

Instinctively this is something we know but we fail to act on this knowledge. The good news is we can form better habits through consciously cultivating gratitude in our lives. When we become good at being grateful, we see and experience more of the ‘good’ in our lives, appreciating the highs and the lows that life throws at us. In the words of David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, “The root of joy is gratefulness… It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”

A good place to begin is by starting and ending your day thinking of what you are thankful for, keeping a gratitude diary is a great way to do this, this can double up as your prayer diary and every thanks can be a prayer when you precede it with “Thank God for…”

It does help to write things down, if the day gets you down you can look back on your list. Equally, you can share your thoughts with a spouse or family member. You can be there for one another on days when it is hard and you will find yourself feeling thankful for other people’s blessings. Write down the things you are thankful for.

For some people or for families it helps to have a physical item such as a jar that people write down what they are thankful for and place it in the jar, every so often you can read them out together. Before your evening meal each person could say one thing they were thankful for during that day. This will build momentum over time even though gratitude doesn’t seem to come as easily as grumbling, you just have to get started.

Some days you might go through the motions without feeling thankful at all, but stick with it and do it anyway, this is a habit that has to be formed. Make space, time and silence for present-moment gratitude. So often we miss something to be thankful for because we are distracted by a phone or the thought of what you have to get done or that you are too busy to enjoy, even for a moment, a sunset or enjoying your favourite song when it comes on the radio.

When was the last time, whilst you had your tea or coffee in the morning, that you took a deep breath, relaxed and just enjoyed peace for a moment?

I recommend Loui Schwartszberg’s TEDx talk on gratitude. Nature’s beauty can be so easily missed – but not through Louie Schwartzberg’s lens. His stunning time-lapse photography, accompanied by powerful words from the aforementioned Benedictine monk Bro. David Steindl-Rast, serves as a meditation on being grateful for every day. He starts by saying we should begin our day by opening our eyes and being thankful that we have eyes that we can open. Have you ever done this?

Opposite habit

Gratitude is as much about what you do say as what you don’t say. Many of us get into the opposite habit, a steady stream of negative thinking. Complaining about everything from politics to the economy and the weather. But just as we can habitually focus on the negative, we could just as easily focus on the positive.

You also need to focus on vowing not to complain, criticise or gossip; try it for a few days and you will be amazed at how much more positive you are, and as a consequence, much happier.

Constantly complaining about your problems or about others has been linked to depression and anxiety, when negative thoughts enter your mind about a person or a place. Maybe it hasn’t stopped raining all day, switch the negative thought to a positive one, you won’t have to water the plants. Try it just for a few days and you will be amazed at how much more positive you are.

Be grateful to others. Thank other people. Pay at least one person a genuine compliment each day, this could be giving a direct compliment or inviting someone to share in your own gratitude.

Smile

Ask yourself, what made you smile today? What inspired you today? Repeating things you are thankful for will challenge yourself to look deeper and enhance the joy it gives you, from waking up in a warm bed to seeing new daffodils grow.

Tell someone you love them every day and how much you appreciate them. Ask a stranger how their day is going or wish them a good day, thank the people that work in your community, the shopkeeper, the bus driver. Avoid media, magazines and television programmes that have negative content. It might be a nice idea to create a family gratitude collage, make it together.

Don’t give up; like any habit you have to work on it for a few weeks before you see the benefits and before it automatically becomes part of your daily life.

When God is our context for how and why we exist, it makes gratitude that bit easier. When you know that you are here to love one another and to love and serve God, that he gave us life so we could have it and live it to the full. We are the ones that choose whether to love and live every moment in our lives or whether to hate.

What are you looking forward to today? What are the opportunities for fun and enjoyment? We have to alert ourselves to the good, if we really live each day as it unfolds, paying attention to all the beautiful small things that we ignore in the hustle and bustle of life. As Albert Einstein once remarked: “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

You can’t control all the circumstances in your life but what you can control is what your own focus is, you can make good habits and by being more grateful reap so many positive benefits. Let yourself be constantly reminded that we are all made in God’s image – now that is something to be truly grateful for.