Prayer is not an escape from life; rather it sets the context

I cannot attend Mass but that does not mean I am somehow distant from God writes Bairbre Cahill

When I wrote a couple of weeks ago about sometimes finding prayer a struggle I could not have contemplated the situation we now find ourselves in. I know many of us share a deep loneliness that we cannot attend Mass, cannot receive the Eucharist and must remain physically distant from our faith community. So how in the midst of this do we pray?

There was a short piece from Fr Richard Rohr OFM on March 10 which struck me at the time and I’ve found myself going back to regularly.

“Just land where you are, open to the stillness, and knowing that what you seek is already here, holding everything you do every step of the way, guiding you, supporting you, in you, around you. You can’t lose it! And it is never failing you.”

In this time of confusion and upheaval I am reminded that God surrounds me, that God is the One in whom I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28). I cannot attend Mass but that does not mean I am somehow distant from God. Here, in my own home, God is present, holding, guiding, supporting.

Activity

When I am under pressure, feeling stressed, I often try to run away from my own self. I fill my time with activity. I resist quietness and reflection, I struggle with prayer. It has become very evident to me however that to live well in these days I need to give myself that opportunity to tune in, to quieten down, to reflect. Now that has been a challenge. Why? Well, simply because when I allowed myself to become still I found myself confronted with big, powerful and quite scary emotions. In that big messy mix there was fear about what was going on, anxiety about how long we could be living like this and exhaustion because I was putting so much energy into trying to keep a lid on it all. Stepping into that mess is daunting but at least it allows me to identify the emotions which are there, to acknowledge them, and that in some way takes the kick out of them. How? Because for all the mess that is there, at an even deeper level God is there in the midst of it all.

When I am under pressure, feeling stressed, I often try to run away from my own self. So certainly for me, and perhaps for you too, the first step I need in prayer in these challenging times is the courage to “land where I am, open to the stillness and know that what I seek is already here, holding everything I do, every step of the way” to paraphrase Fr Rohr. How do we do this? I find I need to find a space on my own – not easy in a house that currently has seven adults in it – so that might be in the bedroom or elsewhere in the house very early in the morning before others are awake. I need to become aware of my own body, aware of my breathing, allowing every breath to take me deeper into the quietness within my being and I just need to rest there, even for a few minutes, no words, no formal prayers, just being and allowing the presence of God to enfold me.

An image that seems powerfully appropriate for me is Psalm 131: “Enough for me to keep my soul tranquil and quiet like a child in its mother’s arms, as content as a child that has been weaned.” I need to know God’s presence at the core of my being so that I can then go on about my day. From that place of strength I can move into more formal prayer, or into dealing with a family of adults all unexpectedly living in one house together again, or out into the strange and surreal world of getting the shopping done amidst social distancing and hand sanitising.

Context

Prayer is not an escape from life; rather it sets the context. So, if we begin the day with that awareness of Divine love the challenge becomes how do we live that out? As a family, no matter how much we love each other, we can be loud, opinionated and narky. These days of living at home with no social outlets, is proving challenging to say the least. I have become very aware how much we all need to be reflective and emotionally continent. We each have to take responsibility for our own emotions, to acknowledge them but not to let them leak out all over the place. It is easy to be toxic, to be needlessly negative.  If we are feeling stressed or anxious, angry or bewildered it is important to name that and understand it for ourselves but to make real efforts not to let it shape our behaviour.

These strange days challenge us to learn what love really means. Love can mean refilling the toilet roll canister or not bulk buying pasta in the supermarket, respecting the need for social distancing and making contact by phone or text with friends and family. All around the country people are doing wonderful things to make a difference. People are volunteering, parishes are going online, education companies are opening up their online resources to families now home-schooling, workers are putting themselves at risk to make services available.

Prayer calls us back to that quiet space within. Where have I given and received love today? How have I dealt with challenging emotions? Have I been a source of hope and strength for others or have I added to their stress? Where have I glimpsed beauty, laughter, wonder? God is with us, present even now in the day to day realities of life. We are invited into that quiet, reflective space within so that God can nurture and strengthen us to live with love and hope.