Wendy GraceWendy Grace offers some tips for a stress-free family Christmas celebration
Today’s culture is pretty good at putting all the focus of Christmas on the superficial and materialistic side of things. Halloween is barely over when we are bombarded with Christmas commercialism.
It is hard not to get absorbed by it all, and it is challenging to remind ourselves and our families of the old adage ‘Jesus is the reason for the season’.
The first step is using Advent as the Church intended – as a period of preparation for Jesus’ birth. You could start your day, as a family, opening the door of the Advent calendar. There are some really good Catholic Advent calendars online for all ages, which incorporate a small Advent message each day. There are also some great prayer books that you can use each day of Advent together with your family.
What about sitting around your Advent wreath each evening during Advent, and saying a family prayer, perhaps for 10 minutes before or after dinner. There is a plethora of prayer books from a variety of saints to guide us through Advent; this means each day of Advent will start and end with being reminded of the real meaning of Christmas.
Not only will this provide you with quality time with your family, but it will help you to stay centred and not get ‘sucked into’ the panic and stress that Christmas can bring. Many parish centres have a selection of lovely Advent calendars, Christmas cards, children’s Christmas books and gifts, so why not support your local parish!
Another suggestion is using a Jesse Tree throughout Advent. A Jesse Tree is a small, leafless tree decorated with symbols and ornaments which remind us of the promise of salvation made by God and the birth of Jesus. It connects the tradition of Christmas tree decoration to the birth of Jesus.
The decorations can be made from paper, cardboard and ribbons. They should represent people, stories and events leading up to the birth of Jesus.
On Christmas day, a string of white lights and some glitter ornaments can be added. Be creative! Let your family’s Jesse Tree be distinctively your own and keep your Christmas preparations centred on Christ.
A good place to start the practical organising that Christmas demands, is with your own Christmas ‘to do’ list. For example, if you have visitors staying with you, wouldn’t it be nice to have their room prepared the week before the Christmas rush begins?
Map out time in the lead-up to Christmas, as frequently a lot of the stress around Christmas preparation is self-imposed. Are you too much of a perfectionist when it comes to Christmas, setting unrealistic expectations? One of the most important pieces of advice around Christmas is to take care of yourself; it is always during these busy times that we can forget to do the simple things such as eating properly, sleeping enough, drinking plenty of water and exercising. Also, make sure you delegate the Christmas tasks, don’t try to take it all on yourself.
One part of the Christmas preparations that can be overwhelming is Christmas shopping. Are you the type of person who on December 24 can be seen running around in a blind panic trying to source Christmas gifts?
Take a leaf out of your children’s books and write a list. Write down each person you need to buy a present for, putting time and thought into what they might like. It is extremely important to decide on your overall budget. If you don’t have one, you can’t stick to it. Then think through the people you have to buy for. In this way you avoid the panic, which not only may lead you to buy something that is unnecessary and without as much thoughtfulness as you might like, but it can also lead you to overspend.
Start saving your Christmas money early, get your gift shopping out of the way now before the Christmas rush hits. You could involve some creative ways that can show your love for someone without ‘breaking the bank’. Maybe you can make homemade cards, or bake something.
One of the nicest presents I received last year was hand-delivered caramel squares from one of my closest friends. Maybe you could give a couple with young children a ‘babysitting coupon’ giving them the gift of the all-important ‘date night’. You will certainly be thanked for this.
December 8 was traditionally the busiest shopping day of the year. It is known as ‘farmers’ day’ when people from the countryside would get into their cars and head to Dublin or their nearest city to do their ‘Christmas shop’. Retailers say that December 8 is now no different to any other day.
The tradition of putting up the Christmas tree and decorations, for many, still remains December 8. This is the feast of the Immaculate Conception. As well as putting up your tree, you can use other decorations to explain the Nativity story to younger children, for instance, when you are taking out the crib or by going to a local production of the Nativity story.
Every family also has its own unique traditions, but it is important to incorporate traditions that can combine real quality time with the essence of Christmas. Why not go to a carol service and candlelit Mass together in December? For younger children, there is any amount of children’s Christmas books available which tell the story of Christmas with Jesus at the centre.
Why not incorporate this story into ‘bedtime stories’ each evening in December? Make a Christmas play list and have all your favourite Christmas carols and songs to help get you that festive feeling.
When it comes to cooking the Christmas dinner, prepare as much of the food in advance as possible. Things like soups and Christmas cake can be prepared well beforehand. Again, delegate certain tasks, making the Christmas dinner a combined family effort.
Ordering your turkey and ham in early December from your local butcher is advisable. If you decide to go for a frozen turkey in your local supermarket, just remember that the average sized turkey takes three full days to thaw properly. Ensure you actually have a big enough freezer for your turkey! Make sure you thaw out your turkey in a large bin bag or dish so the juices don’t go all over the floor.
Fights
Family fights can, unfortunately, form part of Christmas celebrations and can turn a happy occasion into a tense and stressful one. My grandfather used to say that the “the Devil always tries his best handiwork” at times such as Christmas by way of causing arguments. If you are hosting, making some ground rules is a good idea. For example, drinking too much alcohol can lower our inhibitions, if you know it will cause problems, then limit the amount of alcohol that will be drunk.
Keeping Christmas day fun and full of activity can help keep fights at bay. Create some Christmas games that everyone can get involved in, such as charades or Pictionary.
Even though you may have been hosting this day for many years, every time Christmas comes around there always seems to be lots of hustle, bustle, stress and rushing around.
Some Christmas-related stress is inevitable, flights might be delayed or cancelled, turkeys could get burned. But you can make things easier by preparing both spiritually and practically for the Christmas season – beginning with Advent.