Chai Brady
The outrage after the controversial funerals last month of three men from Tallaght who were allegedly connected to a burglary gang was understandable, but there is a bigger question about Irish people, tradition and Catholic funerals that must be answered in modern Ireland.
Namely, do people truly understand Catholic funerals?
At one of the funerals for one of the men in Tallaght there was a banner with a picture of the deceased with the words “You know the score, get on the floor, don’t be funny, show me the money” underneath. The offerings included a screwdriver and a torch.
The glorification of crime at ‘show funerals’ has long been a point of contention, particularly in Dublin, even leading Archbishop Diarmuid Martin to say in 2019 “where it can be ascertained that individuals hold direct responsibility in this traffic in evil, they will no longer be allowed to exploit religious services in the Archdiocese of Dublin to enhance their image”.
It is certainly easy for people to see how out of place symbols relating to criminality are at funerals, but it would be remiss to only focus on ‘show funerals’.
Complexity
A good example of the complexity of this issue is the Archdiocese of Dublin’s response to a query made by this paper regarding funerals of the nature previously mentioned. They said that the priests and parishes of the archdiocese “would always seek to provide a Christian burial when requested, so long as this was the expressed wish of the deceased or the family”.
The statement continues: “There would never be a distinction made concerning a person’s background. The total responsibility of the priest during these times of heartbreak for the bereaved is to pastorally support the grieving family and the loved ones of the deceased, and to prepare the funeral liturgy during which he will commend the soul of the deceased to the mercy of God.”
They added that during a funeral Mass the celebrant relies on mourners to respect the solemnity of the occasion and that a parish is not responsible for activity outside of the church, including public order.
It begs the question, can, or more importantly should, someone be denied a Christian burial? The answer is yes, but only in very serious circumstances as is outlined in Canon law.
Canon 1184 states: Unless they gave some signs of repentance before death, the following must be deprived of ecclesiastical funerals:
Notorious apostates, heretics, and schismatics;
Those who chose the cremation of their bodies for reasons contrary to Christian faith.
Other manifest sinners who cannot be granted ecclesiastical funerals without public scandal of the faithful.
While the emphasis has been on criminals, what about “apostates, heretics, and schismatics”? Should someone who was openly an atheist or who fought against fundamental Catholic teachings be treated differently to a person who has led a life of crime?
Regarding denying individuals a Catholic funeral, Fr Martin Delaney PP of Rathdowney parish in Co. Laois said the “beauty of the Catholic Church” is that people, whatever kind of lives that they have led, “in death, they are still given the dignity of a funeral”.
“It’s a bit like the argument that’s going on in the [United] States about the reception of Eucharist,” he said, “a funeral is not a reward for a perfect life, it is also praying for the repose of the soul and praying for a sinner.
“I know during the Troubles in Northern Ireland, there probably was a lot of tension sometimes about funerals for terrorists and all that kind of stuff. But I don’t know situations in which people were refused.
“I think there is something to be said there about people being given the dignity of a funeral. I don’t think that there should be an issue about people being allowed the dignity of a funeral, it’s how that is done: What they should be allowed to do within that is very much open to instruction.”
He added that his golden rule for funerals would be that everyone is treated the same, be they “a Pope or pauper”.
Giving the example of well-known RTÉ presenter Gay Byrne’s funeral, he says it was carried out “with the best liturgical guidance, it was extremely well done”. In other words, a celebrity or politicians funeral should not be made exceptions to the rule.
Undertakers
While many people still avail of Catholic funerals, Fr Delaney said in future this should probably be looked at in Ireland.
“We should be in dialogue with undertakers about a form of secular funeral,” he said.
“It’s more honest in a way. When someone is spending their life fighting against faith and Church and then suddenly for whatever reason, particularly in Ireland where everything is done within 48 or 72 hours and they only really know to go the Church route, I think that is also something that should be explored.”
He adds that undertakers are “very powerful” and are increasingly the first people a bereaved family meets.
“One of the relationships that is very important for me in the parish here is with the local undertaker because we work very closely together and we help each other. Sometimes undertakers can go ahead and make plans with families without ever referring to a priest. There should be a dialogue between the Church and undertakers around policies on a whole range of issues,” Fr Delaney said.
Directors
Asked about the relationship between the Archdiocese of Dublin and funeral directors, the archdiocese said: “Regarding funeral directors, they have traditionally worked closely with local parish-based priests who are most in tune with the circumstances of the bereaved, rather than with the diocese. Similarly, in the context of overall funeral arrangements, any activity outside of the Funeral Liturgy is not the responsibility of the priest.”
Fr Delaney described the response as “a bit of a cop out”.
“A diocese is still a relatively local Church, I’m not sure it should just be down to the personality of the local priest. It’s sometimes very difficult for a local priest to hold the line on something if it’s just himself and then the guy next door will allow anything to happen.”
“If you go to the rite, you will see all the instructions about what a Catholic funeral should be but for various pastoral reasons, sometimes, priests look at that in a different way,” said Fr Delaney.
Confusion can also occur as some dioceses have different regulations for funerals, for instance some dioceses will allow eulogies whereas other dioceses do not. According to Fr Delaney this is particularly difficult to understand for “those who do not come from a church background, they cannot understand why it would be different in Ballymun than Ballyhaunis, that is particularly true regarding eulogies”.
He adds that he believes priests should incorporate personal details about the person who has died. A priest who strictly sees the homily as purely a reflection on the readings and “makes no effort to incorporate the story of the person’s life, is what leads people to want to have personal eulogies,” Fr Delaney said.
“What I do myself, and what I have seen happen over the years. I go and I meet and talk to the family and I try to find out what they most would want reflected about their parent or their brother or sister, that absolutely reduces the need for people to get up because oftentimes they’re getting up and repeating what the priest has said.
“The man who taught me anything I know about preaching and subsequently was my parish priest, would have always blended the Word of God and the Gospel with the life of the person,” he said.
Music
Fr Delaney said there is really excellent Church music available, but oftentimes parishes don’t have the musicians available to deliver “suitable music”.
“I think that opens up a vacuum where people want to fill it with other types of music, I suspect it differs from one parish to another, one diocese to another, policies around the type of music.
“Here we would tend to have the same people singing at funerals so they know what is acceptable but as the coffin leaves the church we would always say, if the person had a particular song that they loved, I don’t see a problem with that being played as they are leaving the church.
“I don’t know if a lot of our parishes are set up musically to put the best foot forward, now some parishes are and they have choirs that are specifically for funerals but I think the standard differs vastly.”
Horror stories
“I would say the same thing for offertory processions, that’s the other big thing and I know a lot of focus was on that funeral in Tallaght, the things that were brought up,” Fr Delaney continued.
“Here, and this is good liturgical practice, you would be trying to say that an offertory procession should have nothing that is taken back again, therefore you’re saying bread and wine. You don’t bring up symbols at that point, if you want to bring up symbols bring them up at the beginning of the liturgy when the cross and the Bible are placed in the coffin. That’s the time when we would do other symbols.
“I think the priest should know what is going to be brought up in case it is something inappropriate. I’ve heard horror stories over the years of things being brought up and just making a farce of everything.”
Slow change
Ireland is currently seeing a shift towards secular weddings, but according to Julie Kavanagh, who is in charge of Pastoral Resource in the Diocese of Kildare and Leighlin, there will be a much slower change when it comes to funerals.
“I think when we’re faced with the ultimate finality of death in human terms it really brings us to the core of our Faith and I think every one of us has an inner faith life and we don’t always realise that,” she said.
“But when those significant events happen among our families, and within the context of loved ones, I think it really come to the fore.”
While there will be moves away from church funerals, which Ireland is already seeing, she says there is still a “deep appreciation” among people to be able to mark the death of a loved one in the context of Church.
“I suppose we should be celebrating the fact that it is deeply ingrained. It is a very positive starting point. Death is something that we will all encounter but when families face the death of a loved one it is a unique experience for that family.
“I think what the Church offers in a faith context is an understanding of that death which gives hope and meaning beyond this moment of separation so that in a faith context this isn’t a full stop in their relationship with the person.
Ms Kavanagh continued: “As Christians we have belief in the resurrection, we have belief in the mercy of God and the love of God and I think those elements are really important when it comes to letting go of a loved one who has died. I think the place of the Church will endure for a long time.
“I think this past year has shown that families have really appreciated that space and we’ve heard it time and time again that the religious experience in the past year has been much simpler but it has been quite profound.
“I think for families who had to bring a loved one to the church for a funeral that the stillness and the sacredness of that space have soothed them at a time when maybe their friends and neighbours and family haven’t been able to be in physical contact with them as much as they could have.”
Regarding the challenges priests face of informing, and possibly disappointing, families when it comes to the traditions of a Catholic funeral, Ms Kavanagh said it is her experience that priests and parishes want to do the very best they can for families.
“They [priests] really take seriously the role of the Christian community offering consolation and support to the family in a Christian context. So one of the supports parishes can give is good guidance.
“I think families are open to guidance, priests and parishes are working with families in an ongoing basis at the time of the death of loved one. But for the particular family this is maybe one of only a handful of funerals that they will have to navigate in their lifetime so each time it is a raw experience and a new experience.
“It is a question of sitting down with families and saying there is a vision here for how we can ritually mark the passing of their loved one. I think many dioceses have gone down the route, including our own, to offer particular guidance around things that maybe have become elements of the funeral liturgy that, if you actually open up the ritual book, are not there.”
Ms Kavanagh gives the example of eulogies and the presentation of mementos, saying there is guidance on these as well as the appropriateness of the music.
She adds: “The most important thing I think is to have a respectful supportive conversation with families and that these decisions don’t have to be made in an instant.
“The bottom line is that funeral ministry teams and priests and parish staff, they want to do their best in supporting families but they’re very aware too that they’re doing this in a faith context.
“We believe our Faith has huge consolation to bring to families and actually transforms our experience of letting go of a loved one when we have faith in the resurrection.”