Recognising grandparents’ role in passing on the Faith

Personal Profile

The Church’s emphasis on older people as “treasures of the Church” and “teachers of wisdom and prayer” is a much-needed antidote to our age’s tendency to side-line the elderly. So says Catherine Wiley, founder of the Catholic Grandparent’s Association (CGA) and herself a mother and grandmother. She and the CGA have been on the front lines for 20 years, advocating for recognition of the vital role grandparents play in the Church and society.

The first pilgrimage in Walsingham took place in 2002 and in the 20 odd years since then, the CGA became one of the fastest growing movements in the Church”

When I asked what prompted Ms Wiley to found the CGA, she chuckles and says, “I became a grandmother”. But the full story is a much longer one, with a prayerful beginning.

“I live in a place called Walsingham in England, which is a shrine village like Knock,” Ms Wiley explains. “I was at Mass on Our Lady’s birthday on September 8. And quite simply I was asking her what I can give her as a birthday present. The answer came back – a pilgrimage to honour her mother and father, the grandparents of Jesus, would not only please her but would delight her. I started the first grandparents pilgrimage, ever, ever in the world for grandparents, in Walsingham.

“Then a couple of years after that, the first pilgrimage took place to Knock. I always say it was conceived in Walsingham and born in Knock. Even in that first year in Knock we had 5,000 grandparents who attended.”

The first pilgrimage in Walsingham took place in 2002 and in the 20 odd years since then, the CGA became one of the fastest growing movements in the Church. It extends across 65 countries, and “provides a voice, a forum and a structure for grandparents”, Ms Wiley says. Although the wisdom of grandparents is often spurned today, grandparents have an integral role to play in passing on the Faith to their grandchildren.

Ms Wiley knows this from personal experience. Although she knew only one grandparent closely, he was a convert to the Faith, as was Ms Wiley’s great-grandmother.

“I certainly had a very sound Catholic upbringing, you know cradle to the grave. I had an uncle who was an archbishop, archbishop of Tuam and I had aunts who were nuns. I was one of ten children, and, like every other child on the street I lived, we went to Mass on Sundays and we went to Confession on Saturdays. We were brought up by the nuns or the brothers. Our faith was an automatic, we never had to question it,” she explains.

But it wasn’t until she became a grandparent herself that she began to understand the real “art” it is, and the challenges facing grandparents in passing the Faith on to their grandchildren.

Innovative

“When I got married, I had my own children and later I became a grandparent,” Ms Wiley begins. “As a grandparent, you really look around for ways to be innovative and to have an open door. Your kids have to be their own parents, you have to let them make their own mistakes. The art of being a grandparent is to know when to step in and when to step out. As my mother would say, to know your place.

Ms Wiley and the CGA have sought to respond in a variety of ways to the new challenges and opportunities emerging for grandparents”

“I really enjoy my faith, I’m not a dour Catholic, I love everything about it. When it comes to being creative and creating opportunities to pass on this, to be spiritually or financially available to our children’s kids, grandparents do everything they can to assist them. We want to be there for them, no matter what they do – come hell or high water, you’re there for your kids.

“Whether it’s physically, emotionally, practically or spiritually, grandparents are absolutely involved, more so now than ever, because of parents working and the economy. Even in the 20 years I’ve been working in the CGA, the role of grandparents has changed again. Our young people have really missed the beauty of the Gospel and the beauty of the Faith and it’s become more and more difficult for us to pass it on.”

Faith cafe

Ms Wiley and the CGA have sought to respond in a variety of ways to the new challenges and opportunities emerging for grandparents. On top of organising regular pilgrimages for grandparents, the CGA have started the first grandparents’ day in Ireland, organised grandparents’ days in schools, organised appeals, seminars, retreats and even a website. Over lockdown, the CGA also started a new initiative – a faith cafe conducted over Zoom.

“We started the faith cafe to assist grandparents, many of whom were living at home without human contact, feeling lonely and stressed. Every month, we have a host, a speaker. We’ve had Eamon Martin, we’ve had archbishops, we’ve had monks, we’ve had writers and we have a couple of people doing a reflection. A real social and informal chat. It is incredibly successful at uniting and bringing grandparents together. We tried it out temporarily, but now it’s here to stay,” Ms Wiley finishes.

Perhaps the two most obvious contributions the CGA have made, however, is encouraging the creation of a prayer for grandparents, written by Pope Benedict XVI in 2012, and more recently the World Day for Grandparents and Ederly, which will take place for the first time July 25 of this year.

I’m really, really excited about the day. I’ll be in Rome on the morning in St Peter’s, when the Pope celebrates the first Mass”

“Back when Pope Francis came in, I started writing to him again asking him for a world day of grandparents,” Ms Wiley explains. “After much writing and visiting and talking, the world day of prayer was proclaimed on January 31 this year. We were champions, absolute champions to get this day organised.

“I’m really, really excited about the day. I’ll be in Rome on the morning in St Peter’s, when the Pope celebrates the first Mass. I am incredibly excited,” Ms Wiley says.