Michael Kelly
My dear mother Ann died peacefully at 3.37am on Sunday, September 22. I was blessed to be with her at the time, and while I never thought I would describe it as such – it was a beautiful grace.
In the days that have passed so many people have been so kind and gracious in offering prayers, solidarity and good wishes.
In the part of the country where we come from, the traditional wake at home is still the order of the day and the presence of so many neighbours and friends from near and afar was a huge consolation to my entire family.
Consolation
A the funeral Mass on September 24, I was asked to say a few words and some people since have asked that I share them more widely. I hope that readers will indulge me if I use my column this week for an abridged version of my words…
On behalf of my father and my entire family, I would like to thank you all for being here with us to pray at this difficult time.
Our hearts are broken.
We take consolation in our Faith – a Faith in God which my mother cherished throughout her entire life. Prayer and her relationship with Christ were always central to Mum. She was a woman of great devotion and this was even more evident in the last weeks and days of her life.
Prayer, and in particular the Holy Rosary, became the soundtrack of her life. I can’t help but think that she made the words of C.S. Lewis her own: “I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.”
Her prayer and example have taught us all so much.
For us believers, hope is the assurance that God is with us always, and that our suffering has meaning. And that if we unite our sufferings to Christ’s, our suffering will be redemptive.
Mum was a wonderful wife and mother. A spouse to Daddy for more than 47 years, she was an inspiration, a friend and a confidant of so many people.
My mother never liked the limelight. She was a shy woman in many ways, but she was such a pillar of the community and parish.
Ever present in the background, her desire was always to see what she could do to help.
As a family, we know of the countless kindnesses and burdens she shared. She was so brimming with pride about her family, her sons and her grandchildren. And we were so, so proud of her.
In good times and bad, in sickness and in health, they mirrored in their marriage God’s love”
Over these days of Mum’s final illness when we brought her home, so many people have been kind enough to call and pray and share their memories.
During the wake, this intensified and we have been gratified as a family to hear the many silent and discreet ways that people say Mum has helped them. Whether in consoling people who doubt, or comforting someone who is lost with a few words of encouragement and concern – Mum was a friend to so many.
She helped people be the best that they can be.
And she did all of this with characteristic humility. During her illness, she was stunned by how many people called, sent prayers, Mass bouquets, flowers or good wishes. It was a mark of Mum’s quiet goodness that she never really knew how many people she touched and how profoundly she helped shape their lives for the better.
Through the community, Mum and Dad helped mould so many lives and helped young people discern the right direction for their futures.
No-one was out of bounds, and they went to great lengths to make sure that people felt welcome and included. As a child, this could sometimes be maddening as our home sometimes resembled an open house or a drop-in centre – but it was, above all, where I learnt to be a Christian.
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I remember one particular Christmas Day a local man visited – a little bit worse for wear with festive cheer, shall we say. Mum was very perceptive and she soon realised he had nowhere to go for Christmas lunch. No matter, a place was hastily set for him at our table and a plate arranged. That’s just one example of the hospitality that characterised my mother.
Daddy has lost his best friend and companion on this earthly pilgrimage. One rarely saw my mother and father apart – they did everything together and were always a great support for one another. In good times and bad, in sickness and in health, they mirrored in their marriage God’s love for each and every one of us. They radiated this and were a beautiful example of sacrifice in a cynical world. I was touched deeply at the wake by the number of people who described Mum and Dad as a wonderful example of Christian marriage.
Like my mother, Daddy is a man of profound and natural Faith. Together, they have prayed their way through their marriage and I know that Faith and prayer will be a constant consolation to Daddy now as it is to all of us.
Inspiration
While we have known for some time that Mum would not get better, nothing prepares one for the morning you wake up and know that your mother is no longer with you – at least in the physical sense. Yet, we are consoled by our Faith – we are consoled by the fact that Mum is now at rest and has heard those words from Our Lord: “Well done Ann, well done, good and faithful servant, come you whom my Father has blessed, take for your heritage the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.”
Many of you are here this morning because my mother inspired or touched you in some way. Many people who called in recent weeks remarked how serene and peaceful Mum was – she was serene and peaceful because she knew where she was going.
We are consoled by our Faith – we are consoled by the fact that Mum is now at rest…”
I feel her hand gently on my shoulder this morning as I felt it so many times. I feel her gently prodding me: tell them not about me, but about God’s great love for them.
In remembering Mum, remember her as a woman of faith – and if you’ve been away from your faith, get to know God again. For Mum, faith was nothing more than friendship with God – I feel her urging me to tell everyone to rekindle their friendship with God.
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Mum never liked words that went on too long…and now I feel her telling me that I’ve spoken for long enough. Thank you for being here to pray with us – please continue to pray for Mum and be assured she will spend her eternity doing good on earth.
Mum, we will miss you every minute of every day. Until we see you again, when God will wipe away all tears from our eyes, and there will be no more death and no more pain and no more mourning or sadness.