Going back to Confession can be difficult, but it is incredibly uplifting, writes Dominic O’Reilly
The Year of Mercy has shone a new spotlight on the Sacrament of Reconciliation and many initiatives across the country are attracting people back to Confession. For those who have not been to the sacrament in a long time it can be understandably difficult to return. However, if this is due to having had a negative experience with a confessor or you have been away from the Church for a while or simply of your own volition it really doesn’t matter.
When you return to Confession you will not be told “I haven’t seen you here in a while.” No, the first thing that will happen is the priest present in persona Christi will welcome you and will then say a prayer that the Lord will be in your heart and upon your lips so that you will truly and humbly confess your sins. From the word go Jesus desires to draw you closer to him.
We may have been away from the sacrament for what feels like a great length of time. Yet through it all, while we sin God continues to love us. Even in the darkest moments, God loves you so completely and intimately that he offers you invitations to intimacy; invitations such as the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
We may refrain from Confession through fear or shame. This is understandable, because quite simply, sin corrupts. The devil is always trying to convince us that God’s way is the wrong one. Sin causes death, destruction, disease, poverty and so much more.
Sin is nothing more than a failure to love. God on the other hand offers us strength to love. If you’re thinking you’ve done something so terrible that the priest will never have heard it before… he probably has!
Put off
Finally, we can be put off the sacrament because of an unfortunate experience with our confessor. This is only normal. Perhaps what this requires is nothing more than humility. Yes, the priest is speaking in persona Christi, but if he allows his personal feelings to interfere with this then do not hesitate to tell him.
Be compassionate with him and ask for him to do likewise. More importantly though, go back. In this moment of intimacy God is waiting for you and he is waiting to tell you how much he loves you. Will you have the strength to throw yourself on his mercy?
Before you enter the confessional, however, it is important to take some time to reflect and make an honest examination of conscience.
The process of reconciliation is not one to be rushed. Time spent with God is always well spent and in this time you can have a personal conversation. It’s always good to get an idea as to what exactly you would like to talk with God about!
While it is important that we are not unhealthily scrupulous, it is equally important to remember that sin is real, the effects of sin are real and our decision to sin is all too real.
If you’re not sure about something, bring it anyway. God doesn’t mind! Lots of churches nowadays have handy examination of consciences near the confessional and if you’re not sure just ask your confessor to lead you through one.
As I have said one of the first things the confessor will say to you is the wee prayer, but it is necessary for us penitents to follow some formula.
We begin by asking God’s blessing, saying how long it has been since our last confession and then we name our sins. This is the hardest part. If something is causing you particular embarrassment or even shame it’s useful to just get it out of the way first. While you don’t need to go into detail for every sin it is useful to confess whether the sin has been committed through action, word, thought etc.
The important thing is that you get rid of the things that are weighing you down. It’s incredible how light you will feel after.
Amend
Once you have spoken your sins it’s a great opportunity to talk with the confessor about how to amend your life. Listen to what he has to say. The priest you are with is a channel of God’s mercy, forgiveness and love. To be truly penitent requires us to make a firm resolve to change our life.
This is actually the really tricky bit. However if we do take up the challenge, and take up our own crosses, something quite miraculous occurs.
We are made new and our hearts are set free from the bonds of sin to soar to new heights; heights that will offer us a better glimpse of the merciful face of Christ. It’s a beautiful challenge because if we do engage in this act then we can join in the redeeming work of God’s Kingdom. Want proof?
“Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingly power… Truly I say to you, this day you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23: 42-43) This man, known to some as the Good Thief, is known to the Catholic Church as St Dismas.
As part of our Easter Duty the Church asks us to accept this invitation to God’s mercy before the feast of Pentecost. I know it can be difficult, but truly, God is waiting for you.
He loves you so completely and intimately that he is willing to take all the rubbish in your life and transform it into something beautiful. This is grace. Blessed are we, full of grace. As St Paul tells in his letter to the Romans, “However great the number of sins committed, grace was even greater.” (Rom 5:20) So never abandon hope; God is always stronger. You are not defined by your sins; you are made in the image and likeness of God and this is what defines you. Every single person is good, we just don’t do the right thing all of the time. So we keep trying.
We are the Easter people and truly, Hallelujah is our song.