We need to take time out from our busy lives to allow space for reflection and renewal, writes Norman Drummond
Norman Drummond
Modern life is relentlessly busy. The calls of work life and home life are many and varied, and if there is any spare moment then there are emails to check, messages to answer or social media to update. It seems impossible to get off the treadmill.
The answers to life’s most pressing and important questions can, I believe, only be found in solitude and in slowing down. If we don’t give ourselves time for this kind of reflection, we forget what is meaningful and valuable.
We hurtle along, leading a frantic life, working longer hours, doing more and more – for our children, and perhaps for parents too – and seldom getting enough deep, nourishing sleep, fresh air or healthy food. We dig deeper and deeper with fewer and fewer resources until life feels out of control and we become exhausted, or ill, or both. It is increasingly common now for people to find themselves in a post-viral or deeply fatigued state.
If you’re feeling overstretched and overloaded, with never a minute to spare and no time to think or stop, then it’s very hard to keep perspective on your life and what’s going on around you, or to open the door to change. Many of us fill every waking minute with something to do. We flip from phone to iPad to laptop, work long hours, plan purchases and holidays – and then we wonder why we feel exhausted and overwrought, or as though something is missing in our lives. We end up with what I think of as a ‘mind like mince’ – so mixed up we are unable to focus successfully on any single thing.
Busy
Being busy can get in the way of your creativity and passion. It can also be a way to avoid facing a problem or taking on something new and different. “I’d love to but I’m just so busy” can easily become a mantra. A life led in this way is saying no to maintaining the rhythm and balance necessary for fulfilment and no to making a difference in the world around you. It is a limited life which cannot offer satisfaction. Yet many of us continue to be puzzled by this.
Are you ‘spiralling’? A life spiralling out of control, at the mercy of external pressures, has no space for joy or wisdom. It is perfectly normal for busy people to feel overwhelmed by the demands of life now and then, but to feel that way is a warning sign and to ignore it is to rush headlong towards unhappiness and ill health.
If life feels like this for you, then the time has come for change. And the simplest, most effective change you can make is to ‘step back’. Stepping back shouldn’t be an optional extra in our lives, it should be a priority, to refuel us and to help us cope with all the other demands we face.
Some of the most famous military commanders in history, among them Napoleon Bonaparte, Admiral Horatio Nelson and General Dwight Eisenhower, all recognised this and insisted on a period of relief and rest for troops in action, so that they were able to regenerate in body and spirit and with that renew their courage and determination.
Slowing down
Most of us can recognise the benefit of slowing down and taking time out for reflection, but in many cases we have reached the stage where we have stored up so much inner exhaustion that when we do stop it feels as if we might never get started again.
It can feel like trying to jump off a speeding bus – if we do ever get off, we’ll never manage to get on again. If you feel that way, though, it’s time to ask yourself: “Is this really the bus I want to be on?”
Run your life; don’t let your life run you, or let it be run by others.
Slowing down and allowing yourself periods of deeper reflection, away from the round of daily duties and responsibilities, is quite simply life-changing. It can be of immeasurable benefit.
By doing this you provide yourself with an opportunity to reframe your mindset, and to realign and reorder the tasks you have set yourself. You are giving yourself the gift of time, to notice, to enjoy and to take pleasure in things that normally pass you by – the beauty of nature, the taste of good food, the joy of music.
Slowing down, by stepping back and reassessing your life, gives you time to focus on people and on priorities. You may find it unnerving to let go of familiar supports such as your phone, iPad or laptop, but none of those help you to feel fully present: they are distractions. Your inner soul needs complete attention if you are to listen to it. Those things get in the way of stepping back. To know ourselves fully present through a period of slowing down rekindles our confidence and courage and allows us to get things into perspective.
While many people in busy firms and offices may tell you that there’s no time for slowing down, the fact is that there is always time for what matters. On the one hand, stepping back and slowing down often leads to periods of greater output, creativity and productivity.
On the other, time out for reflection and renewal is always time well spent. It leaves us wiser, healthier and mentally stronger – better able to give our all.
So when should we choose to ‘step back’?
I believe we all need to take time for ourselves regularly, no matter what our circumstances. But there are certain times when it becomes the one thing that will restore our peace of mind, hope and belief in ourselves.
If any of the following hits home, you know it’s time to step back:
- You are uncertain, overwhelmed or tired.
- You are facing a decision, confronting a difficulty, unsure about the way to go about a task.
- You are sad, lonely, heartbroken or hurt.
- You are feeling frustrated, misunderstood and helpless.
- You are anxious, worried, concerned.
- You feel you are living life at the wrong pace.
- You lack confidence.
- You feel trapped.
- You are looking for a direction in life that has meaning and purpose.
- You are so embedded in the routine of your life that you feel it is losing its meaning.
- You feel that you have no real control over your life.
Stepping back is deceptively simple and powerfully effective, yet most of us never do it. Once it becomes a regular practice, however, the benefits are immense and unlimited. They may surprise you, liberate you and delight you.
Reflection
Creating time and space for reflection may mean you have to step out of your comfort zone, but it will be worth the effort. Don’t wait for life to give you space, make the space yourself and let the light of creativity in.
It is in pausing and stepping back that you will see the bigger picture and what your part in it might be. As you integrate stepping back into your life and make it a regular practice, you will find the blessings are both personal and spiritual. You will be able to integrate mind, body and soul, by slowing down, focusing on what matters and keeping things simple. As a result you will become more clear-sighted and productive, in ways that really count.
Norman Drummond is the founder of Columba 1400, an award-winning charity seeking to change the life outcomes of young people from harsh realities around the world. This article is an edited extract from his new book Step Back which is published by Hodder & Stoughton