Wendy GraceWendy Grace describes the early months of pregnancy
When you first see those two lines on your pregnancy test, this is when the excitement begins. This excitement is quickly followed by downloading apps, excessive googling and forward planning. You might not look pregnant yet but you will certainly be feeling it in a whole host of ways. Your body will be flooded with lots of hormones to help you grow this amazing little baby for the next nine months so it can be a rollercoaster.
Here are some of the common issues that you might have to deal with in the next few months and advice on how to handle them.
To tell or not
to tell?
Traditionally people wait until they are three months pregnant before they let most people know the good news. This is because this is the time that the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly. This is probably one of the first decisions that you will make.
Obviously this is totally up to you. You might be very close to your family and just be bursting to tell them straight away. Think of who you would want supporting you should anything go wrong. That way you will not only have a few people that can share in your excitement, but should things go wrong you will have people who can support you too.
When it comes to the wider circle of friends, sure, you can tell them whenever you want but nine months is a long time to be getting often unwanted advice and exaggerated horror stories.
When it comes to work, you have no obligation to tell your employer that you are pregnant. You must give one month’s notice prior to taking maternity leave. Some might wait until they are beginning to show at four to five months before telling their employer.
Before you talk to your boss be sure that you are fully aware of the company’s maternity policy. Citizens Information provides comprehensive details on your rights during your employment while you are pregnant.
When you decide to tell your wider circle, make sure you make it clear what you want. If your hoping to tell most people face-to-face be sure to let those who you have told know that you don’t want it put all over Facebook just yet.
Remember with some friends there might be sensitivities, you might have a friend who is having trouble conceiving or a friend who may have miscarried, of course they will be happy for you, but you might not go into quite so much detail about that happy first scan.
So what about morning sickness?
Usually this starts between the third and sixth weeks of pregnancy and the majority of women experience it at one stage or another.
I was sure that people in work knew I was pregnant when I was eating cracker after cracker at 8am, but when I told my colleagues it turned out nobody had a clue, so try not to be too paranoid about the extra trips to the bathroom blowing your cover.
Morning sickness is a totally misleading term because for many women this queasy feeling can last all day.
The first way to cope will be changing your eating habits. Never leave the house on an empty stomach, first thing in the morning have a piece of toast or something small, preferably in bed before you get up. Then snack little and often throughout the day. Protein rich snacks are great to nibble on, things like nuts and seeds.
Bland foods are best as fatty or spicy foods are likely to make the nausea worse. It might sound funny, but it works, sniffing a sliced lemon which I used to carry around in a small Tupperware container for the first few months really did help. Lemon and ginger teas are also good for your tummy.
If you are really unwell don’t be afraid to take a sick day from work. Morning sickness bands (also used for seasickness) put pressure on your wrists, you can easily get them from the Euro stores and they look like hair bobbins on your wrist, can work well. Make sure you come to work prepared, bring a toothbrush and toothpaste and a hair bobbin should you need to make a dash for the loo.
If you have meetings to attend try and get a seat near the door so you can make a quick exit if you need too. You will find you have a really strong sense of smell so avoid strong smelling foods in the kitchen.
It’s a good idea to keep a morning sickness diary so you can begin to notice your triggers and avoid them as much as you can.
So you are exhausted…
Pregnancy fatigue in the first trimester can really take its toll. Your body is working overtime, but it is important to keep your energy up. Even though it might be the last thing you feel like doing, taking exercise will help you feel better. Even when you are feeling exhausted, get out and get active. A rule of thumb for exercise is: if you were doing it before you were pregnant continue doing it now.
You need to get to bed earlier as your sleep is likely to be disturbed by more trips to the loo in the night than you are used to. Swimming or Pilates are also great forms of exercise, pilates in particular will help you work on your core muscles.
Remember to ask for help, if you need help with chores ask. If you get breaks at work throughout the day take advantage of those, you can grab a fifteen minute power nap at lunch followed by some fresh air.
You will find you have much more energy after the first trimester, but until then rest often, and listen to your body.
But my clothes are getting tight
One thing that won’t help your nausea is when your jeans are too tight on your tummy. Use a hair bobbin looped through your jeans to give you those extra few inches of breathing room.
There is no need to go splurging on expensive maternity clothes just loose blouses a size up from your usual will be comfortable.
When you do get bigger websites, like ASOS and Seraphine have more options than the high street for maternity clothes, although H&M’s maternity jeans are inexpensive and comfortable.
Google: friend or foe?
Here is what I found. Make sure you use reliable websites for information. Forums with parents giving their opinion generally aren’t helpful. There are great apps you can get which give you plenty of information as well as exciting updates on the size and development of your baby. I recommend ‘The Bump’ or ‘What to expect.’
When I started attending my maternity hospital and talking to midwives and doctors I realised that a lot of the advice I had read in online forums had no basis to it.
If you are worried or have questions ring your GP, obstetrician or maternity hospital and they will help. Maternity hospitals generally run an early pregnancy antenatal class which is a great place to get sound advice.
Look after yourself
Especially if this is your first baby, allow yourself to relax and be pampered. Getting a pre-natal massage will be much harder when you’re expecting your second baby.
So enjoy being pregnant, get giddy when you get your pregnancy app updates, allow Dad-to-be to take over some of your chores and focus on some of the fun things, thinking about names and Godparents. I also loved praying to St Gerard Majella – there are some beautiful prayers for mums-to-be and even a Facebook page dedicated to him.
It’s hard not to get anxious about your baby, but entrusting your baby to God with the help of a trusted Saint certainly helped to ease my anxiety. Enjoy this time, what’s happening inside you is a little miracle and all that morning sickness and fatigue will be worth it.