Aubrey Malone
The Oscar ceremonies are taking place on February 28 this year but I don’t think I’ll be booking my seat, despite all the Irish nominations for Room and Brooklyn, etc.
Spike Lee and Will Smith are boycotting the event because of the virtual exclusion of black performers this year. This isn’t the only prejudice it’s guilty of. I lost faith in the annual beano way back in 1969 when John Wayne took the honours for an ordinary performance in True Grit, thereby denying Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman who’d been scintillating in Midnight Cowboy.
Everyone knew it was the old Hollywood guard rewarding ‘The Duke’ for a lifetime of work rather than anything else.
Such injustices were perpetrated time and again in the years following. Statuettes were meted out to the wrong people for the wrong performances. There were promises to be kept, palms to be greased.
Palliatives
Oscars were often given out as palliatives. Bette Davis won for the lacklustre Dangerous in 1935 to make up for the fact that she’d been cruelly denied the year before for a much superior performance in Of Human Bondage.
Elsewhere people won for sentimental reasons. How else can you explain the fact that Humphrey Bogart pulled the carpet from under Marlon Brando in 1951? Bogart was nominated for a ho-hum performance in The African Queen while Brando had set the screen on fire in A Streetcar Named Desire. But Brando was a ‘bad boy’ then and Bogart a pillar of the establishment. It wasn’t a question of star quality; more a tuxedo beating a sweat-stained t-shirt.
Oscar likes oddity. If you’re cited for playing an alcoholic or a serial killer you stand a better chance of standing on the winner’s podium than if you’re a character without an eccentricity or neurosis. Power wins over muteness, which is why Leonardo DiCaprio is favourite this year for Best Actor, and why Brie Larson edges it over Saoirse Ronan for Best Actress. (DiCaprio is also “owed” one, having been nominated so many times without bringing home the bacon.)
Camera
Also annoying are the plastic grins the losers put on when the camera is foisted on them to pick up their reaction to the winners sitting nearby. Bob Hope said these were the real Oscar-worthy performances of the night. I agree with him.
This year, like every other one, there will be scams and fixes, nudges and winks. People who’ve behaved themselves with the Hollywood brass will be more likely to win than the ‘brats’ who’ve rattled sabres with them.
Another big turn-off for me is the crocodile tears. When winners start to blubber, or thank everyone they’ve met since they were tots, I feel like throwing the TV set through the window.
When Greer Garson won for playing a World War II widow in Mrs Miniver her speech went on almost as long as the war itself. I’m exaggerating but you get my drift. Somebody should put sticky tape over these people’s mouths after 30 seconds maximum.