Breda O'Brien
The View
There was a tragic case recently in Mullingar when the wrong body was given to a family for burial. It was spotted by a mortician when a name on a body bag matched that of someone whose remains had allegedly already been collected by a funeral director.
Imagine the distress of the family when they found this out only minutes before the start of the funeral service. The undertaker had to go immediately to retrieve the correct remains and return the other body.
The HSE has promised a full inquiry. No doubt, there are many families now worrying that they, too, have received the wrong remains.
Someone pragmatic might say that it does not matter to the dead person and since there are no longer any open coffins at funerals, that it should not matter to mourners, either.
Not only does this ignore the natural bonds felt by family and friends, but it also neglects the Christian teaching that bodies are sacred. They are not just containers for the soul or our personality. The philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty affirms that “the body is our anchorage in a world” and St Pope John Paul II affirmed again and again that our bodies participate in our dignity as human beings.
It is is one of the many sufferings inflicted by this pandemic that proper farewells in person to people who are dying are often impossible”
After the last judgement, we will not be ethereal spirits floating around but instead will have glorified bodies free from the limitations of death and disease.
This is difficult to imagine, even though we have the example of the Risen Lord, who mysteriously passed through locked doors in upper room. The Lord was both himself and somehow different and harder to recognise, as the story of the road to Emmaus testifies.
Most shocking of all, perhaps, is that his glorified body still has the marks of the wounds inflicted on the cross. His exalted state did not leave his humanity behind.
Bodies matter. Reverence for bodies matters. It is is one of the many sufferings inflicted by this pandemic that proper farewells in person to people who are dying are often impossible. After death, there is something undignified about bodies being placed in bags. If it were not for the kindness of healthcare professionals, chaplains and priests, many would be even more bereft.
The absence of the traditional Irish funeral magnifies the loneliness of loss.
We attend funerals in great numbers. It is a significant culture shock to many Irish emigrants to discover other cultures regard funerals as private affairs, conducted with the kind of numbers we consider a serious imposition during this lockdown.
I fear it will complicate the grieving process for many that they are unable to take part in the healing rituals”
It is tremendously sad to see the congregation confined to 10, along with social distancing. It is hard for everyone and it does not matter whether the death is due to Covid-19 or any other cause.
Funerals are a great comfort to the living and the tradition of having something to eat afterwards usually means a sharing of stories, some of which may never have been heard before by family members.
All of this is now impossible, whether the funeral is for an internationally famous poet like Eavan Boland, buried from Dundrum church recently, or the tragic death of a young person from suicide.
Part of the reverence we have for bodies is expressed through the tactility of funeral rituals. Attending the online streaming of a funeral is far better than nothing but real solidarity demands physical presence, handshakes, hugs and hospitality.
I fear it will complicate the grieving process for many that they are unable to take part in the healing rituals that we have often taken for granted.
One of the important facets of grief is the loss of a role. When a spouse dies, one also loses a role as a husband or wife, and if the relationship was good, the feeling of being the centre of someone’s world. The same happens, to a lesser but not insignificant extent, when we grieve any major loss.
There are many kinds of grief other than the loss of a loved one. There is the grief of not being able to hug grandchildren and the grief of lost opportunities and lost employment.
Burying the dead is listed as one of the corporal works of mercy. Now that we cannot be physically with people who grieve due to death, it is more important than ever to find alternative ways of expressing support. The old-fashioned letter or card has a great deal to recommend it and is not easily replaced by a WhatsApp message.
We might also remember to thank and pray for priests and chaplains whose presence and shepherding is more vital than ever during these bleak times.
When this crisis ends, we will be facing an economic crisis which will test all of us. Let’s hope that the pandemic will have honed our compassion so that we can truly bear each other’s burdens.