The landscape remains grim for those hoping to tie the knot with what remains of 2021, writes Jason Osborne
Come Monday, 50 guests will be allowed to attend weddings, but indoor receptions will remain capped at six guests while 15 will be permitted for outdoor celebrations.
It’s been alluded to that numbers for receptions will be raised to 25 come June, but that’s subject to the fluctuating situation, as everything else is. For those with their hearts set on the big, Hollywood-style wedding, postponement is inevitable.
Speaking of the wedding situation on Morning Ireland last week, Taoiseach Micheál Martin said it’s “very, very tough”.
Asked about the brutal process of telling 25 guests from the ceremony that they’re not invited to the reception, the Taoiseach said, “I hate using the phrase, who makes the cut, who doesn’t make the cut. It’s fairly stressful in itself…I just don’t understand how people are doing it at the moment”.
And yet that’s exactly what’s being asked of hopeful – but weary – couples right now by the Government. They’re being asked to do something the Taoiseach himself doesn’t know if he could do. Matthew 23:4 comes to mind: “They bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their finger.”
Objection
The obvious objection has been raised on a number of occasions: “Why not just postpone until you can have the day you’re dreaming of?” Obviously, everyone’s answer will be different, with some couples choosing to do just that.
It’s a little trickier from the perspective of a young Catholic, however. Those who take their Faith seriously also take marriage seriously. They understand that marriage is about more than the wedding itself – it’s about devoting yourself to another person come rain, hail or shine. It’s about encouraging each other towards heaven, and if God grants it, raising and educating children towards the same end, too. It’s something that cannot wait.
With their eyes on this prize and aware of the likely-false hope waiting offers them, I’ve seen a number of young couples step into married life under pandemic conditions. They’ve embarked on their voyage together accompanied only by those closest to them, but sometimes without even this consolation. One couple I know were joined only by their priest and two nuns for witnesses. Another saw the husband-to-be cross the Atlantic to be joined to his wife without anyone in tow.
Speaking to each of the people involved afterwards, they all affirm they wouldn’t have had it any other way. The joy of marriage effaced all the difficulties they encountered as they made their way to the sacred moment. Still, difficulties they were, and it’s quite the wringer they were put through.
Difficulties
My fiancée and I aren’t unaware of these difficulties either. The wedding was initially intended to be in her native Poland, earlier by a couple of weeks, and more guests were due to be in attendance (although it still wasn’t to be a large wedding by any stretch of the imagination). We made all of these decisions as summer 2020 drew to a close, confident that with vaccines on the horizon at that point and the summer lull in cases in recent memory, the following summer would be a safe bet.
We were far off the mark, with Ireland arguably a stricter place now than this time last year. This year has proven harsher than anyone could have anticipated, and anyone trying to take this most important step forward has been strongly discouraged from doing so. We were forced to bring the wedding to Ireland – a far more expensive affair – as a result of the travel restrictions our island has imposed. We were forced to postpone because the virtual queues for the registry offices (an essential part of the process in order to procure the marriage licence) were clogged with people whose weddings had also been postponed. We’re also currently trying to figure out which of our family and friends will occupy the precious 50 seats at the ceremony and 25 at the reception.
The pandemic and the ensuing restrictions have had grievous effects on so many areas deemed non-essential. Non-essential for who?
It shouldn’t be this hard to do the right thing.